Football Bat

A clever, hypothetical weapon used to attack an enemy that's making BS comments using football analogies. See "James Carville Goes Off on Fareed Zakaria" on Youtube.

"Ya he talked about an offensive linebacker.. when I read that I wanted to hit him with a football bat." - James Carville

by Dave:P December 7, 2011

football bat

Army slang, meaning "severely fucked up". Used in the context of comparison. See also: hockey cleats

"Ho-ley shit, Private Snuffy! You lost your rifle??? You are fucked up like a football bat, son!"

by Bullzeye December 26, 2003

football bat

used to describe a situation or something that has happened that is completely wrong or fucked up.

When Jason used pumice soap to jack off, Jill walked in and exclaimed, "That's about as fucked up as a football bat you bad mamma jamma!"

by Jason March 10, 2005

Football bat

When something is totally supery-dupery gay, you can say that it's "as queer as a football bat." Because you don't use a bat in football. See also, tennis helmet.

I'm thinking of switching to FaceBook 'cuz MicePace is getting gayer than a football bat.

by panicBoy January 2, 2008

football bat

Noun. A slang term for a queer or gay male. Used in a similar manner as three dollar bill.

Did you see how Bruce was dancing? That guy is as queer as a football bat.

by suomi September 19, 2005

football-bat

A term used with the expression "as queer as" to refer to someone strange or homosexual in a derogatory manner.

You think he's gay?

He's as queer as a football-bat.

by manning18 July 12, 2007

queer as a football bat

Describes a flamboyant homosexuals manner and dress. Origin: 70's slang, South Eastern US.

Oh Jeff is queer as a football bat but he's so nice most people don't care.

by james savik February 4, 2008