Flower Funeral 

A funeral held for dead flowers. Usually in a flowerbed side service honoring the sweetness and beauty of the dead flowers. Usually held after cutting or throwing away the dead flowers. Is also often held in a church. The only known Flower Funeral happened on November 18, 2011 when Ed Crankshaft, his daughter Pam Murdoch, and her husband Jeff were attending the funeral of a close friend. A Flower Funeral is not sad. In fact, it is very calming. So, if you want beautiful flowers for all time, hold a Flower Funeral for the ones you lost. Its a sweet thing to do.

Ed: Oh no, all my flower died. How am I going to remember them?

Pam: Why not have a Flower Funeral for them? We could crush them up and bury them.

Jeff: Sure! Lets go to Camp Swampy. I bet Stainy Stainglass would officiate.

Ed: Sure, a Flower Funeral would be nice because I love my garden! Sweet.

Stainy: Yes, I'll help! (he starts praying over the flowers) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in memory of these beautiful flowers. May they always live in Heaven in beauty. (he makes the cross sign)

Ed: (bursts out crying) Poor flowers. I don't know what to do.

Stainy: Easy, I know you're stressed. But I got the Mary Mud right here. (he starts massaging Ed with the Mary Mud) Remember how good that felt? Its a nice way to end a Flower Funeral.

Jeff: (jumping up and down crying) I need some of that, too. Can I have some?

Stainy: Sure! This is the most important part of a Flower Funeral. You need flowers to stop stressing over flowers. Remember, flowers have power!

Pam: Sure. Its easy. Just remember its a trial but Flower Funerals make you smile! (she kisses Stainy and he rubs her with the Mary Mud)

Flower Funeral by Dusty's Baby Powder November 23, 2011

Most men don’t receive there flowers until its there funeral

The idea is that men (often due to cultural norms around masculinity, stoicism, and "providing" being seen as enough) frequently go through life doing hard, often thankless work — supporting families, showing up, sacrificing — without hearing genuine appreciation for it while they're alive to feel it. Then at their funeral, people finally say the kind words, list the accomplishments, and express the love and gratitude that went unspoken for years.

They pick up. Need help moving, need a ride, need someone to sit with you in the ER waiting room at 3am? They show up, no complaints, no "let me check my schedule." They remember your birthday, check in when you go quiet, celebrate your wins like they're their own.

Meanwhile, they rarely ask for anything back. Maybe they're going through their own stuff, but you don't really know — because they never make it about them. You just assume they're "fine," that they're the strong one, the steady one, the one who doesn't need checking on.

So you don't check on them the way they check on you. Not out of malice — it just never occurs to you, because they've never given you a reason to worry.

Then something happens — they move away, you drift apart, or worst case, something tragic happens — and suddenly everyone's saying "they were the realest one," "they always showed up," "I don't know what I would've done without them." People finally say it out loud, once it's too late for it to reach them the way it should have.

The point: The friend was giving 100% the whole time, quietly, without asking for credit. The people around them did notice and did appreciate it — they just never said it plainly, while it could still land. That's the same gap: love and gratitude that existed the whole time, just never spoken until it stopped mattering.

If you've got a friend like that, it's worth telling them now. This is why most men don’t receive there flowers until its there funeral

Most men don’t receive there flowers until its there funeral by UmmahAlKheyr September 26, 2026