Fartifact

The medical term for trace amounts of feces that stain the seat of underwear.

Pateint: "Doc, I blew up the toilet twice today. And when I saw my drawls, they was full of skid marks. What's the technical name for that?"

Doctor: "Fartifact."

Fartifact by big_daddy_brad March 8, 2011

Rare Indian Artifact

Discovering a full bottle of beer and or a bottle of booze on the side of the road on an Indian Rez.

When we drove to the Rez to get our cheap smokes we noticed a Rare Indian Artifact just laying in a ditch.

Rare Indian Artifact by will bitten October 8, 2016

Fartfaced

Irish term meaning to be heavily intoxicated with alcohol to the point of not knowing where you are, and whether or not someone farted in your face.

"I like to visit the various partying locations in my local area and get totally fucking fartfaced on a regular basis!"

Fartfaced by Mr. Big Knob Shit Kitten March 13, 2013

artifact children 

Term invented (or at least popularized) by the late musician Frank Zappa to describe children conceived primarily for the experience of having them.

"There seems to be this trend for the young modern parent to have a child for these reasons: For the woman to experience the miracle of childbirth and for the young couple to raise their precious child to be this immaculate artifact of modern society. If people think today's punk kids are repulsive, wait until they see what these little artifact children are going to do."

Frank Zappa

artifact children by avgfhadsfkjbvhadsfjhbv September 14, 2006

Fartiac Arrest 

A period of uncontrollable farting.

dude, I can't stop farting." "yeah, you must be going into Fartiac Arrest

Fartiac Arrest by ROBB726 January 11, 2011

fartipation 

When you are bloated and need to fart but can’t.

I feel bloated and really need to fart but I can’t. I think I have fartipation.

fartipation by Sheep on fire March 9, 2018

fartificial 

noun: a fake or false fart
verb: pretending to fart by making loud, fart-like sounds by various methods including but not limited to mouths and/or hands, arms, or armpits.

Three guys at a party, standing in the hallway. One goes in the bathroom and soon really loud fart-like sounds begin.
First guy looks at the second and says, "oh dude, he's..."
Second guy interrupts, "No man, fartificial."

or

Kate was so embarrassed when her Mom came to visit and Brad thought it'd be funny to go in the bathroom and fartificial.

fartificial by claudel November 10, 2009