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Shit Idiot Brain Fungus (S.I.B.F.)

The Shit Idiot Brain Fungus (or the S.I.B.F. as it is considered in the medical community), is one of the most deadly diseases known to mankind. It strikes at the cerebrum section of the brain and completely shuts it down. This leaves the victim in a state of eternal idiocy and stupidity. This condition affects countless people worldwide, and the symptoms are completely unnoticeable until it is far too late.

This disease was first invented as a bioweapon by Dr. J while he was locked in the basement of 2000 Presidential candidate Alfred Gorestrum (Al Gore). He planned to use this bioweapon on Senator Ted Cruz of Texas in an attempt to make him a raving dumbass. Little did Dr. J know, however, was that Ted Cruz was already the dumbest of raving dumbasses. Unfortunately, the fungus did spread to Ted Cruz and he is now a walking and talking gravemind of the fungus and looks to spread it to all those he comes into contact with and speaks to.

I am writing this definition from my bunker in Southern Kosovo in the hope that some wandering internet-goer finds this and puts an end to the fungus, and Ted Cruz, for once and for all. This is my last message to the world, goodbye.
Person 1: "Yo, you want to hop on the Roblox Pacer Test Game, I really think that it might be a very enjoyable experience."

Person 2: "Bro what the fuck are you saying, have you or a loved one been in contact with a carrier of the Shit Idiot Brain Fungus (S.I.B.F.) or Ted Cruz himself in the past 30 days? You seem like you've come down with a real bad case of it."

Person 1: "Oh no, what if you're rig--- djasdfuiho asdhfgiubsf." *collapses to the floor in a broken heap and as a husk of his former self*
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The Four “F’s” 

Improvised prison comfort food.

This comfort food can be made using ingredients that can be purchased at a prison commissary. One common example is a bag of Fritos Corn-chips with canned chili poured over the Fritos while still in the bag — the bag being split open from top to bottom being used as a plate/container for the “Zoo Pie”.

The Four “F’s” make it easier to survive in prison they are:
friends on the outside
family,

fellow gang members inside and outside

faithful wife or lover who hasn’t yet succumbed to loneliness and infidelity while you are inside.

These people can easily make Commissary Deposits and send valuable packages containing socks and underwear — two things you can’t be without in prison or in the military.

The Four F’s are a necessary but not sufficient element of prison survival.
I couldn’t have served my prison time without The Four “F’s” in my corner; Man, I’m a short timer now. Just one month and a wake up.

T.O.F.T.S. 

TOFTS = Too Old For This Shit.

TOFTS is an acronym of Danny Glover's famous line from the 1987 movie, Lethal Weapon. Ironically, using the expression "TOFTS" signifies how non-lethal one has become, because he/she is simply too old, for this shit. Utterance of the phrase usually indicates a tired disdain for the subject at hand, though not necessarily arrogance or elitism; often the subject will begrudgingly still engage in the subject (ala Danny Glover's character in Lethal Weapon).
Mel Gibson: It's GO time! Passion of the Christ!
Danny Glover: T.O.F.T.S.

Kid 1: I want a firetruck!
Kid 2: I want a dragon!
Kid 3: I want world peace!
Kid 4: I want to start a fire!
Kid 5: I want a pony, a magic easy bake oven, a Xbox, Justin Bieber tickets...
Santa: T.O.F.T.S.

Sarah Palin: Isn't your middle name Hussein? Like Saddam Hussein? Let's see some birth certificates!
Obama: T.O.F.T.S.
T.O.F.T.S. by Japcola April 21, 2011

F.S.A. (Free Shit Army)

The F.S.A. is used primarily to describe "the 47%" of US citizens who not only pay nothing in federal taxes, but actually believe that they are entitled to the fruits of the labors of others. It is also used to describe a large portion of the Democratic Party who rely on the government to provide food stamps, subsidized housing allotments (Section 8), and sign themselves up for every bit of free stuff possible (also see "Ghetto Breeding Machines.").
You can often identify members of the F.S.A. (Free Shit Army) by their SNAP/Food Stamp cards, latest urban fashions, Section 8 Housing voucher-stubs, their $300. Nike tennis shoes, Apple Smartphones, and their 60" Plasma televisions.

L.M.S.T.S.O.O.Y.D.U.Y.N.A.O.M.F

Lemme suck the soul out of your dick until you nut all over my face😫.
When u wanna be freaky in text “ L.M.S.T.S.O.O.Y.D.U.Y.N.A.O.M.F

T.I.F.R.Y.B.F.W.N.S.F.B.W.Y.T.M.O.T.M.F.S.W.Y.T.D.W.R.A.B.F.B.O.L.B.A.I.C.U.T.A.I.G.B.T.F.O.Y.B 

This is for Rachel you big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch why you took me off the motherfucking schedule with your trifflin dirty white racist ass you big fat oompa loompa ass bitch i’m coming up there and i’m going to beat the fuck out of you bitch
Karen: Where is your manager?
Manager: T.I.F.R.Y.B.F.W.N.S.F.B.W.Y.T.M.O.T.M.F.S.W.Y.T.D.W.R.A.B.F.B.O.L.B.A.I.C.U.T.A.I.G.B.T.F.O.Y.B
They should make north I-94 a toll road so we can collect some money from those F.I.B's who come up here every summer and act like they own the place.
F.I.B's by Bulldog August 2, 2007