Elf hats

Something that makes anything seem harmless even if it really isn't.

Emperor Judge- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?

First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.

Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.

Emperor judge to second convict- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets?

Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still hang.

Emperor judge- Okay, we will hang you, it should be fun!

Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?

Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!

Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be funny, you do know how long it is actually going to take two midgets to cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.

Elf hats by The Original Agahnim November 27, 2021

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008