Elf hats
Emperor Judge- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?
First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.
Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.
Emperor judge to second convict- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets?
Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still hang.
Emperor judge- Okay, we will hang you, it should be fun!
Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?
Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!
Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be funny, you do know how long it is actually going to take two midgets to cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.
First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.
Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.
Emperor judge to second convict- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets?
Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still hang.
Emperor judge- Okay, we will hang you, it should be fun!
Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?
Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!
Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be funny, you do know how long it is actually going to take two midgets to cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.
Elf hats by The Original Agahnim November 27, 2021
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