1. A fat or overweight person. Made-up insult for
men who need a special word to sneer and act superior.
Also: waddling eggshaper, waddler. Same family as “Flat Stanley” when he wants to insult a woman for being too thin or not curvy enough. Nobody wins. He is grading meat.
2. A control word. The guy who says it is usually the gym-and-badge type — law-enforcement energy, prosecutor mouth, CrossFit religion, enforcer of dread game. He will not compliment you. He
will say he’s “bad with words.” Then he
will have a full speech ready about a stranger’s body. He calls other women eggshapers so you hear the threat: *stay useful or you become the
joke.* He
will compare you to younger women. He
will hold higher standards for you than he does for himself. He
will push workouts while talking about lipo. He withholds warmth, then acts confused when you get upset and those feelings
will be a problem. That is abuse with a gym membership.
“What’s an eggshaper?”
“Apparently that overweight
woman eating mozzarella
sticks.”
“What did she do?”
“She existed while fat.”
“Oh. So what’s wrong with him?”
“Apparently other people’s
body fat causes him emotional distress.”
