Doo-Wop Flop Extremist 

The Doo-Wop Flop is a sexual act where the male places a 45 rpm record around the base of the penis, where it stays during the entire duration of coitus. This is sometimes done with a rare or valuable record as a form of gambling, where the record is at a high risk of damage in exchange for praise online by other Flop extremists. As of late, a small community of Doo-Wop Flop extremists possess the philosophy that there is no risk to engaging in "The Flop", as they believe that, in the event of the record ending up covered in bodily excretions, the fluids in effect act as a form of noise reduction and audio-enhancement towards particularly poorer-graded records on the commonly used Goldmine Grading Scale. This is a sexual spin-off of the customary "wet playing" practice that was popularized in the 1970's, where various liquids are used to reduce static and surface noise by lubricating the stylus and displacing dirt. However, this bastardization employs an added endorphin rush of having to quickly play said record before the fluids dry up, and inevitably render the record unplayable and worthless. This subsect of the community is generally despised and shamed by traditional "Flopists", who value "The Flop" as a sanctified ritual, where the record's well-being should be held in higher regards than the act itself.

John: Hey Mike, have you ever tried doing the Doo-Wop Flop with your woman?

Mike: Yes, John. I actually take it a step further by adding the extra excitement by using my prized records, especially the ones that have more surface noise than normal. Last time me and Emma tried it, I slid my prized 45 rpm copy of "Give me Another Chance" by the Sheiks on the coveted "Ef-n-De" label off of my wiener once we were done, and to my surprise the fluids made it sound even better! I didn't even clean it afterwords. I actually underwent the whole ordeal with the intentions of completely ruining the record because I have some strange self-destructive complex and want to render valuable items near worthless. All in all, the disc is ruined now because I placed it directly back into the paper sleeve after playback and it's completely crusted over. I just love to deface precious artifacts for some reason.

John: Wow, I guess you are one of those Doo-Wop Flop extremists. I think I need to go home and process this tragedy with some shots of Brandy.

Doo-Wop Flop Extremist by muddyford57 September 26, 2025