The Doo-Wop Flop is a sexual act where the male places a 45 rpm record around the base of the penis, where it stays during the entire duration of coitus. This is sometimes done with a rare or valuable record as a form of gambling, where the record is at a high risk of damage in exchange for praise online by other Flop extremists. As of late, a small community of Doo-Wop Flop extremists possess the philosophy that there is no risk to engaging in "The Flop", as they believe that, in the event of the record ending up covered in bodily excretions, the fluids in effect act as a form of noise reduction and audio-enhancement towards particularly poorer-graded records on the commonly used Goldmine Grading Scale. This is a sexual spin-off of the customary "wet playing" practice that was popularized in the 1970's, where various liquids are used to reduce static and surface noise by lubricating the stylus and displacing dirt. However, this bastardization employs an added endorphin rush of having to quickly play said record before the fluids dry up, and inevitably render the record unplayable and worthless. This subsect of the community is generally despised and shamed by traditional "Flopists", who value "The Flop" as a sanctified ritual, where the record's well-being should be held in higher regards than the act itself.
John: Hey Mike, have you ever tried doing the Doo-Wop Flop with your woman?
Mike: Yes, John. I actually take it a step further by adding the extra excitement by using my prized records, especially the ones that have more surface noise than normal. Last time me and Emma tried it, I slid my prized 45 rpm copy of "Give me Another Chance" by the Sheiks on the coveted "Ef-n-De" label off of my wiener once we were done, and to my surprise the fluids made it sound even better! I didn't even clean it afterwords. I actually underwent the whole ordeal with the intentions of completely ruining the record because I have some strange self-destructive complex and want to render valuable items near worthless. All in all, the disc is ruined now because I placed it directly back into the paper sleeve after playback and it's completely crusted over. I just love to deface precious artifacts for some reason.
John: Wow, I guess you are one of those Doo-Wop Flop extremists. I think I need to go home and process this tragedy with some shots of Brandy.
Mike: Yes, John. I actually take it a step further by adding the extra excitement by using my prized records, especially the ones that have more surface noise than normal. Last time me and Emma tried it, I slid my prized 45 rpm copy of "Give me Another Chance" by the Sheiks on the coveted "Ef-n-De" label off of my wiener once we were done, and to my surprise the fluids made it sound even better! I didn't even clean it afterwords. I actually underwent the whole ordeal with the intentions of completely ruining the record because I have some strange self-destructive complex and want to render valuable items near worthless. All in all, the disc is ruined now because I placed it directly back into the paper sleeve after playback and it's completely crusted over. I just love to deface precious artifacts for some reason.
John: Wow, I guess you are one of those Doo-Wop Flop extremists. I think I need to go home and process this tragedy with some shots of Brandy.
by muddyford57 September 26, 2025
Get the Doo-Wop Flop Extremistmug. The Doo-Wop Flop is a sexual maneuver in which the male places his erect "penis" through the hole of a standard 45 rpm record, preferably a highly sought after title of the doo-wop genre from the 1950's through the 60's. Coitus is then performed, with the challenge being the preservation of the records placement on the base of the "penis", along with it's structural integrity, and condition. After completion, the record is then safely removed and inspected for "damage" (fluids, surface cracks, etc.). This unorthodox performance has been described by doo-wop record collectors as a form of high-stakes gambling, in which they risk ruining their often extremely valuable, and sometimes priceless records in the process. Positive outcomes after this act is performed are often highly praised about among the community of enthusiasts and collectors, where as negative outcomes are met with sympathetic condolences for the collector's loss and misfortune of a ruined record.
Brad (a Doo-Wop Flop Extremist): Dude, last night was crazy. Jennifer and I wanted to try something new, something exhilarating, so we decided to execute the Doo-wop Flop. I used a scratched up copy of "Come Go with Me" by the Dell-Vikings. It was such an exciting challenge to keep the record on my shaft, and once I finished, I heaved her off of me and rushed over to the turntable before the playing surface crusted over, and let me tell ya, I didn't hear a single pop upon playback! ill never go back to digital noise reduction ever again.
Dennis(another Doo-Wop Flop Extremist):: Go figure! I actually frequent that maneuver. just 3 nights ago, I threw Becky off me so hard, and in my haste to platter the record, she actually jettisoned into my stereo setup, and cracked her head open. Unfortunately, she broke my turntable in about 3 pieces, therefore I was unable to get an accurate reading in terms of sound improvement. We will try it again when she is out of the ICU in 8-10 weeks.
Common variables for "The Flop" include but are not limited to:
-The record's value, rarity, and grade
-Duration and intensity of coitus
-Fluid levels
-Subsequent playback improvement or degradation
Dennis(another Doo-Wop Flop Extremist):: Go figure! I actually frequent that maneuver. just 3 nights ago, I threw Becky off me so hard, and in my haste to platter the record, she actually jettisoned into my stereo setup, and cracked her head open. Unfortunately, she broke my turntable in about 3 pieces, therefore I was unable to get an accurate reading in terms of sound improvement. We will try it again when she is out of the ICU in 8-10 weeks.
Common variables for "The Flop" include but are not limited to:
-The record's value, rarity, and grade
-Duration and intensity of coitus
-Fluid levels
-Subsequent playback improvement or degradation
by muddyford57 September 24, 2025
Get the Doo-Wop Flopmug.