Don't have a hernia" 

A humorous phrase that is used as a response to someone getting unnecessarily upset and overly dramatic in public over something small or insignificant . It is intended to point out to the person being dramatic that they are engaging in bad behavior and/or acting over the top and encourages them to chill out and laugh it off instead. It is a more humorous and laid back version of "calm down" or "it's not that big of a deal, relax."

Adolescents which were named Taylor Cornell, Analise Borgatti, and Augusta Melander invented this phrase in the year of 2004 stemming from an event they were involuntarily subjected to.

The event that triggered the phrase "don't have a hernia" unfolded when the English teacher, Mr. Carlyle, had a sudden mental meltdown when his usual white board marker ran out of ink while he was writing, which he responded to by dramatically yelling "I hate my life!" at the same time as he angrily threw the inkless whiteboard marker across the room, after which Mr. Carlyle then proceeded to firmly and with deliberate brute strength engaged in slapping himself across the face in front of the entire freshman english classroom who sat horrified in front of him...without even so much as an apology, laughing, or even explaining why he was so upset.

Person 1" I hate my life! Bobby hasn't texted me back!"
Person 2 "it's only been fifteen minutes until you texted him. "Don't have a hernia"!!!
*laughs together*

Don't have a hernia" by LittleGus April 21, 2018