Miami Vice was based off of Don Johnson's sophomore year in high school.

Don Johnson's barber attempted to shave him once. After fifty razor blades and eight quarts of shaving cream, he was finally able to remove his five o'clock shadow. This was all on his 3rd birthday.

Don Johnson's good looks are able to bend space and time allowing him to exist in multiple dimensions at once. Unfortunately, Heartbeat isn't popular in any of them.

Don Johnson hates to be called Crockett.

Don Johnson's workout consists of 50 push-ups, 200 sit-ups, and sex with your mom.

The gel in Don Johnson's hair is causing the polar ice caps to melt.

Don Johnson used to bottle his sweat and sell it to single men claiming it will attract women. The product was later renamed Aqua Velva.

Princess Diana's limo swerved, not to avoid the paparazzi, but to avoid Don Johnson's blazer. Even her driver knew it was sacred and dared not run it over.

Don Johnson stole Mother Teresa's virginity. He then pawned it for cocaine.

Don Johnson's nickname for his penis was the basis for Tony The Tiger.

When he first proposed to Melanie Griffith, she said no. Let's just say it ended poorly for her and she soon changed her mind.

While using cocaine, Don Johnson recorded 4 seasons of Miami Vice in a record breaking 12 hours. He won 2 Emmy's and was voted Teacher of the Year.

The first American National Anthem was actually Heartbeat, by Don Johnson. Congress changed it after the powerful lyrics pushed the U.S. into war with Vietnam.

Don Johnson's top score in Centipede is 23,987,004, which was pretty good considering that he got that far on one quarter and three bottles of Rebel Yell.

The East Coast/West Coast Hip-Hop war officially came to an end when Don Johnson told the rappers to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Don Johnson doesn't wear socks with his loafers, not because it's fashionable, but because he forgets.
It was not the Grinch, but rather Don Johnson who stole Christmas.

Miami used to be cold. That is until Don Johnson moved there.

After having sex with 50 women one evening, Don Johnson had a revelation. It would later be called The Muppets.

Don Johnson's epic song, Heartbeat, went triple platinum before he even wrote it.

The Book of Genesis details the birth of Don Johnson. The Earth took God 7 days to create. It took him 12 days to create Don Johnson. 10 of those days were spent on the stubble alone and the rest were spent inventing loafers to suit his needs.

The popular movie Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was based on a summer vacation Don Johnson took to Arizona in 1980.

When asked why he turned down the part of Marty McFly, in Back to the Future, Don Johnson replied: "I already went back in time, and unlike Marty, I had sex with my mother." Don Johnson strives fro realism.
by Super Steve Bishop August 14, 2007
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To pull a quick maneuver on someone while driving in traffic, it saves you time but pisses other people off.
I totatlly just Don Johnsoned all of those people waiting to turn.
by Bill Sardell April 07, 2006
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Fisting someone in the ass, then wiping your hand across their face, leaving a dark smear reminiscent of the Don Johnson perma-5-o'clock shadow from Miami Vice.
I can't believe she was so drunk she let me Don Johnson her!
by Brockula January 28, 2008
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A street name for cocaine. The name, Don Johnson, is usually pronounced with a heavy New York or Boston accent.
Hey, Tiny, do you know where the Don Johnson is? Son bitch!
by BJ August 25, 2004
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The act of using ones' sock to either:

a. masturbate with, catching your mess in the sock

b. wipe your shitty ass w/ in the event of an emergency poop

thus leaving you sockless, like Don Johnson in Miami Vice
a. She got me so hot, a pulled Don Johnson in my car on the ride home.

b. That quarter pounder w/ cheese gave me the runs and I had to go Don Johnson in the parking lot behind McD's.
by Peter Forbin September 28, 2006
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a slicked back 80's haircut either teamed up with a mint green suit jacket w/ rolled up sleeves, a flesh toned shirt or loafers with out socks i.e. the worst or best part of the 80's
my gym teacher was trying to pull off a don johnson but after a month or so he realized he looked like a douche
by Willem November 23, 2003
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a huge amont cocaine snorted within two or three hours of purchasing
I scored some don johnson last night so that is why i'm calling you from jail.
by philbert August 24, 2004
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