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dishorderly conduct

I can't find anything in the rats nest
So my life's choices lead to this conclusion.
I am guilty of dishorderly conduct.
I found myself in the maze I created holding on to things while I let myself go

Conduct Disorder 

Behavioral tendencies outside the socially acceptable way. Others may see that they do whatever they desire and take little to no blame for their actions. Nearly 40% of people who suffer from these behavioral problems receive further diagnoses when older, such as NPD and ASPD.
β€œHe acts so crazy because he has Conduct Disorder.”
Conduct Disorder by DjPiur June 24, 2023