Crosswalked 

To be hit by a vehicle at a crosswalk.

Hey did you hear about Jim getting crosswalked last week?

Crosswalked by Gamavision April 25, 2011

Mexican Crosswalk 

The sloppiest most disorganized gang bang you've ever seen. Nobody’s even sure where this lady came from. Is it even a woman? Did anybody check? There's a steady stream of people coming in and out of the room. Somebody is barbecuing ribs in the corner. A chicken walks through. Who brought a t-shirt gun? Two dogs wrestle over a turkey bone shaped like Lance Armstrong's fat sister and one gives up to take a shit on the carpet. There's a raffle draw for Single A baseball tickets. In the far corner a be-mulleted Peruvian musician with not enough teeth sings a barely passable Spanish version of Come On Eileen to two homely yet (slightly) moist 50-year-old twin sisters from Wisconsin, etc, etc

Named after the pure pandemonic crosswalk experience of Mexico City where simply crossing the road is a messy adventure in every step. Pedestrians are targets. Red lights are merely advisory. A chicken walks through. A toddler holding a partially eaten cob of corn is crying… or possibly choking?? Two seniors stop mid-street to dance to some music that has too many horns in it. Did I just step over an original Atari game console covered in sticky lotion? A guy with a cart full of heavy-duty safes, faucet heads and typewriters goes window to window of stopped cars to try and see if anybody needs to buy a heavy-duty safe, faucet head or typewriter, etc, etc

Guy 1: Hey, when I left the party last night the only people left were the lacrosse team and that old librarian from eastern Russia. How'd the night end?

Guy 2: *sigh* You'd never believe it but it turned into a bit of a Mexican Crosswalk...

Mexican Crosswalk by Dr Thwack February 18, 2019

crosswalk distrust 

The irrational suspicion held by every human that tells us we cannot hit a crosswalk button just once. Our intuition tells us that, if we only hit the button one time, the electronic signal will not be sent sufficiently to the traffic light. Therefore, every pedestrian makes a fist and hits the button -- rapid-fire style -- until lactic acid causes our triceps to cramp up and shut down.

Dan: Hey ‘Weed – you’re not playin’ Galaga. Hit the button a few times and then stand down.

Tim: Sorry, ‘Skinner. I’ve got major crosswalk distrust…and I don’t wanna miss my waxing appointment.

crosswalk distrust by whiteboyDJ November 3, 2010

Crosswalk Creeping 

The act of slowing pulling one's car forward into the pedestrian crosswalk while parked at a red light, for the purpose of preempting a green light.

The driver in the Civic became so impatient with the long red light, he began crosswalk creeping to trigger the green light and ended up bumping Jason who was crossing the street to go to lunch.

Crosswalk Creeping by cgirl71 August 30, 2011

Oakland crosswalk 

An Oakland crosswalk is an invisible crosswalk which a resident of Oakland, CA uses to cross any part of a busy street while giving zero fucks about the cars speeding by. This is often performed with the mindset of having the right of way.

Driver: Hey look at that asshole crossing MLK in the middle of the street! Doesn't he know he's gonna get hit?

Passenger: You idiot, can't you see he's using an Oakland crosswalk?

Oakland crosswalk by Hal A. Madrid March 28, 2017

California crosswalk 

To cross from one corner of an intersection to the opposite corner through the means of a straight line. This can be accomplished no matter how busy the intersection is as long as the participants are brave and quick enough to avoid oncoming vehicles.

Two people need to get to the north-east corner of an intersection from the south-west corner of the same intersection. While this would normally be achieved through crossing the street to the north and then crossing the street again to the east. Instead, they execute a California crosswalk and run in a straight line diagonally across the intersection

California crosswalk by The Aviator January 20, 2008

Crosswalk shuffle 

Happens when a car needs to hang a right but has to wait for bonehead to get through the crosswalk. When bonehead realizes he is holding the car up, he breaks into a slight jog letting the car know that he sees them and he is going to hurry for them but this slow jog is no quicker than walking.

Hermes: ''Hurry up man, I need to get my girl some tampons.''
Friend: ''There he goes dude, breakin' in to the crosswalk shuffle.''

Crosswalk shuffle by Uggsly June 21, 2011