Cousin Ted 

Cousin Ted is just your cousin, and there is nothing wrong with him. Sure, he may be an extremely skinny creature with pale white skin and hundreds of tiny sharp teeth that only shows up at your window after he prowls around the outside of your house at night but I assure you nothing is wrong with him. He's just your good old cousin Ted who has with five small black beady eyes and an unstoppable urge to scoop out your kidneys after you fall asleep from his foul black viscous "sleep inducing saliva", but don't worry. He's just your cousin Ted, and he may or may not make you watch him eat your kidneys as you slowly die from his attack. Again, there is nothing wrong with "cousin Ted".

Little girl: mom where did timmy go?

Her mom: Cousin Ted was feeling rather peckish.

Cousin Ted by Mr. Shog December 9, 2022

cousined 

when you are purposed cock slapped from behind

DeMarcus Cousin from Kentucky purposely cousined Da'Sean Butler from West Virginia in the testicles during the 2010 Elite Eight.

cousined by groff6 March 27, 2010

Cousined 

The act of categorizing someone as a distinct family although they are not.

"Guys you are practically family to me, I wish we could be Cousined together."
"You are part of the family now, you have been Cousined."

Cousined by Gary Nineteen 88 August 31, 2018