College essays

(noun, pl.) A completely masturbatory work of high school fiction, used by college admissions officials as psyops tests in order to evaluate your personality. These, on college applications, are better left blank, so long as your GPA, SAT, and other tests are in your advantage. Otherwise, sarcastic embellishment is usually required, in the form of a Hail Mary Pass.

Tom: So, how did you do on your college applications?
Michael: Great! I got accepted at all four of my picks, plus the University of Miami, and I didn't even apply there!
Tom: Wow! What did you write for your College essays? I couldn't think of anything but massive bullshit.
Michael: Oh, that's okay. They prolly didn't even read yours. I left all of mine blank, and they didn't care.
Tom: Well, you were a great student.
Michael: It's okay for you though, you just need to choose a less exclusive major.

College essays by ssppuunn January 25, 2014

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College essays

This is the point in your life where you pour the largest amount of bullshit you can muster into a paper. And then send it to colleges.

Senior 1: Hey dude you started on your college essays?
Senior 2: Yeah I don't even wanna read it over man it's such pure bullshit
Senior 1: Yeah man me too dude let's just get this shit done over with

College essays by AKewlName October 20, 2013

Word of the Day on October 23, 2013

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college essay

An essay where highschoolers have to boast about how awesome they are in order to get into the colleges they want. The harder they boast the more likely they'll get accepted.

Average college essay: I think that I'm capable of of becoming a college student because I'm a hard worker. I played JV tennis and put in a lot of effort while playing. I have a 3.2 gpa and worked hard to pass all of my classes in order to graduate. I have the capability of working hard no matter what.

Harvard college essay: I invented a cure for Cancer, Aids, and Gonorrhea. I helped rebuild an entire village in Africa in under 2 weeks. I'm the president in 12 different clubs and have been for over 2 years. I scored a 36 on the ACT and got 5's on all of the 10 AP classes I took. I'm also running a small solar panel business and am helping to save the environment. I've won the National robotics tournament 3 times and am the face of robotics. I'm the best at everything. I'M A GOD!!!

college essay by Dubiks October 25, 2018

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College Essay

Something that colleges make you write in an college application in order to get a better picture of you. However, college essays take up a huge bulk of one's time due to the sheer number of them one has to do. Therefore they are the most evil thing in the world...like really, they're hell.

Joe: Hey Julie, you want to go out wit' me tonight?

Julie: No thanks Joe, I have to write FIVE COLLEGE ESSAYS AND THE DUE DATES ARE TOMORROW UGHHH!!!!

College Essay by Jsybird2 December 20, 2008

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College essay

a Mexican dude who is fortunate enough to attend school after grade 12

Jose may have been a big man on campus in high school, but here at UCLA he's just another college essay.

College essay by e-tabbb October 31, 2013

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Fleg

The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.

"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"

Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013

Word of the Day on July 18, 2026

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Skeef

To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.

"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."

Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026

Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

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