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cocktapus 

a very rare marine creature that instead of 8 long tenticles has 8 long cocks, each more than capable of performing in a variety of sexual situations.

This creature was labeled as extinct in the late 20th Century, but scientists have routinely observed it in it's natural habitat. Google it up, preferably while at work and with your supervisor(s)looking on, (it will show them how smart you are).
The cocktapus awoke this morning to find it almost drowned overnight in a sea of gism due to 8 consecutive wet dreams.

I brought my pet cocktapus into my urologist's office the other day and he passed out when he saw it.

What the hell?? Seriously what the hell is this???
cocktapus by Skidmark McGee March 10, 2007
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cocktapus 

Matt has eight penises. That means that he is one of the rare cocktapus
cocktapus by Asian Thunder December 15, 2008

Cocktapus 

A type of plastic surgery where a man gets an octadick (8 dicks) so he can fuck 8 sexy bitches at once.
I'll fuck all y'all bitches with my cocktapuss tonight.
Cocktapus by 1V8liGER September 22, 2017

Cocktapus 

a Cocktobulon with eight testicles
"Ohhhhh my cocktapus hurts"
Cocktapus by Bobby Joe October 1, 2003
Like a cockblock, but for a small period of time.
Manu and Kayla were in the room, cuddling. Tyler walked in and stayed for 30 seconds. Tyler is guilty of a cockpause.
cockpause by a_mac25 October 22, 2010

Cocktus Jack 

when you take the travis scott meal toy from McDonalds and cover it in cactus spikes then shove it up your ass
"hey bro you get the travis scott meal?"
"yeah i got it with a side of cocktus jack"
"sweet"
Cocktus Jack by CocktusJack September 21, 2020
After a man shaves his never-regions and leaves prickly stubble, his cock and balls temporarily resembles a skin coloured cactus, thus becoming a cocktus.
Hey Jenny, how did it go with Iain last night, did he give you a night to remember?

He sure did! I think he shaved his pubes a few days ago because it felt like he shoved a cactus up my vag! It’s was so fucking prickly, and now it’s sooo itchy down there...

Ohh dammmn Jenny! Iain stuck you with his cocktus, we all been there! Get some Sudocrem on that shit!
Cocktus by LordCowPat October 7, 2020