Childspeak 

Speech that is immature, naive and full of unrealistic assumptions.

The sophomore presentation on abolishing government functions was childspeak.

Childspeak by I, Wreckerrr November 6, 2016

childsprawl 

A widespread phenomenon which occurs when (usually) a couple will buy a house based on it's expansive lawn and one story layout because they have, or intend to have, two or more children.
One of the leading causes of suburban sprawl, childsprawl typically involves a ranch house set back from the street with a large open (read-a homogenously treeless lawn) back yard (which is often used to build another room onto the back, since zoning won't allow the front yard to be built on no matter how deep it is).
Dog Sprawl is similar to, and oftentimes accompanied by, dogsprawl, except that rather than use a public baseball diamond or other playing field, they use the yard for this purpose (which, in turn, compacts the soil and renders it unproductive.)

One need only watch HGTV to see the process of childsprawl in action.

childsprawl by Miskatonic Jack 2 February 6, 2007

chickspeak 

The female language understood by other females but, not commonly understood by most men without some training.

Woman: "Oh look..I didn't know there was a Jared's Jewlers there."

Man: "Is that like asking me to buy you something from Jared's in chickspeak?"

Woman: "No."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Woman: "Well, maybe."

chickspeak by Reyne DesCoeurs January 29, 2009

Childsplain 

When you ask a child (typically your own) a question about something in the current culture that you don’t understand or know, typically: the name of a song, what show a character was from, or the name of a meme and they reply with a long winded answer that often includes the history of the creator, why they created it and/or social media platform of origin along with it’s subsequent platform postings and variants.

This is usually done in a condescending tone and may include an eye roll, over the top hand gestures and visual aids.

My daughter childsplained the entire Steven Universe show, characters, and plot to me as though I had never seen it after I asked her the name of the theme song when I heard it play in a TikTok because I had forgotten the name of it .

Childsplain by AnchoviesBelongOnPizzas November 28, 2021