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One hormonal teenage boy, dressed up in fake Adidas and Argos jewellery with a pregnant girlfriend who turned 12 last week. Typically living in a council house in Croydon, with yobbish mates who like to hang around outside McDonald's and mug old ladies for entertainment.

There you have the epitome of a chav.
by The Aristocratic Rebel August 31, 2008
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15
Humanoid in appearance, but primative and animalistic in nature, chavs are fast becoming the bane of humanity. Now all but classified as a completely seperate species, chavs took the left of the fork on the road of evolution when everybody else went right. Today, chavs can be seen in almost every urban area of Britain. Easily identified by either their baseball caps, hooped sports sweaters, excess Burberry and impossibly colourful Nike trainers (male) or scraped back frizzy hair, earrings you could train a dolphin to jump through, cheap leggings and Reebok Classics (female), chavs hunt in packs. Unlike other species, chavs hunt for cigarettes and bus fare instead of food. Food is always obtained at fast food establishments such as McDonalds, or convenience stores (Spar, Late Shop). It is quite common for food to be thrown instead of eaten, with the chav preferring his / her fags and cider / Lambrini (charver cava). Chavs are normally hostile towards humans, particularly those who favour alternative music, whom they have branded "moshers" or "grungers". A chav's music collection is limited. Hip-hop and hardcore for the males, Britney and trance for the females. Dogs (the more volatile, the better), mobile phones, cheap or fake gold and "souped-up" (debadged) 1990's Vauxhall Novas are must-have accessories. Note: the above description typifies the average chav, but there are actually quite a few varieties. Be sure to look for them at any of the following locations: McDonalds, Burger King, Spar, Late Shop, Primark, TK-Maxx, any sportswear retailer or any local park (after 6pm). Examples of a chav's primative vocabulary are as follows:
Chav: Eeyar yo! Mosha! Gotta spare cig?
Brian: No, I don't smoke.
Chav: Wha' ya mean no, ya f*kin' mosha? Ah spark ya!
Brian: Go on then...
Chav: Yo Trace! (emerging from Mothercare) Pass us me mob so I can fone ya bruv!
Trace: Why, ya f*kin dick'ed?
Chav: So he can tune diss chav for me!
Trace: Got no credit, yo!
Trace's baby: <crying>
Trace: Shut it ya little fucka!
by Eenar December 07, 2004
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16
The lowest common denomenator of English society, equivalent to white trash for Americans although with many differences.

The word originates from the embittered attitude of people like myself from being perpetually asked "what yu lookin at?" by an individual dressed up like a cross between a gimp, JJB sports and 50 cent.

Chavs are renowned for their aggressive behaviour, amusing use of the english language, original sense of style and behaviour to society as a whole.

Chavs emerse themselves in a perverted form of a sub-culture: their main music tastes are in drum'n'bass and crap rap. The "female" chavs or Chavettes or Shaza's enjoy r'n'b. They have no apparant interest in literature (lol). In my view their most definitive and humorous attribute is their "use" of the English language, their favourite terms include, "brethren", "rude" and "brrap" (only for the hardcore Chav).

The term "chav" is the commercially utilised form of a notion that has been bouncing around England for years, the specific term being dependant upon location. Popular synonyms include: Pikies, Hood Rats, Kevs, Townies, Neds and many others. The universality of the term if useful in uniting this observation but regrettably depersonalises the word, and also has allowed those whose lives are unaffected by Chavs to pollute and alter the meaning of the term. Because of this it seems inevitable that the term will die out and become a trite cliche.

A chavs attitude to society is one principally shaped by amorality. A Chav feels no sense of "social responsibility" and therefore feels permiited to exploit the wellfare system, mug and beat up strangers. Although it as at this point that the term Chav is shed of its charming innocence and instead tainted with a viscious prejudice, one that assumes the entire populace of the working class consists of Chavs, this suggestion is both moronic and repugnant.

Therefore I believe in order to preserve the dignity and good humour of the term it should only be applied to an individual who firstly demonstrates violence, a true indication of being classless.

The second most substantial threat to the continuation of the term is from the media. The word was formulated through the frustration of adolescents such as myself at being attacked for absolutely no reason (except accidentally and temporarily gazing in the general direction of the individual). And not by some ageing arse-wank journalists trying to revive their long dead and fetid period of being young and cool.
(me and a chav):
"You lookin at me greeb twat?"
"What? How did you work that one out?"
(Punches me in face and I rest on the floor, a pool of blood collecting around me.)
"Fucking chavs"
by passenger May 13, 2005
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17
The Chav is a rare breed of imbecile who communicate to each other through incomprehensible grunts.
They can usually only be fully understood by other Chav's and will rarely acknowledge anybody in a friendly manner out of their own 'crew' with anything other than a firm nod and the occasional "rate" as if to ask the recipient if they are "alright today".
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Females Chavs:

Insist on wearing giant hoop earrings of a colossal size made out of some cheap gold equivalent that turns their skin green.
Their necks accommodate the dreaded "Sovereign" necklace with an engraved picture of someone that they actually know nothing about.
They like to wear velvet tracksuits consisting of pastel shades usually with some kind of untrue motif on the back stating something like "Princess Forever".
They have not done their make up correctly unless their face is a ghastly shade of orange which makes them look like they've been spawned by two Umpa-Lumpa's from Mr Wonka's chocolate factory.
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Their hair is usually one of three styles:

1/. Scraped back into a ridiculously tight pony tail and secured with 10 thousand scrunchies.
that went out with the Spice Girls. They then finish the common female 'Charver Barnett' by using 5 cans of cheap sticky hair spray to turn their fringes into a rock.
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2/. They sometimes claim to have gone to Tony & Guy for a hair cut even though everyone around them knows that they are a crappy liar because of 2 things:

a/. Their Dole money won't cover a hair cut in that place unless their kids are fed on 9 pence baked beans out of the tin.. AGAIN.

b/. Their hair looks like they used the bathroom bleach on it religiously everyday for the past year. It resembles the straw from Farmer Briggs field that they walk past on their way to the Post Office to cash in their Dole Giros.
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3/. As flat as a 5 year old's chest with nasty cheap highlights in.. Clearly they wait until they acquire a little sun and then drench their hair with lemon juice and wait for the awful Halloween horror effect to set in.
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Female Chav's have adopted the habit of getting Medusa's (a kind of lip piercing) only instead of wearing nice little silver balls they think it looks attractive to wear whopping great faux gold ones that look like nasty spots pussing.
Of course they have to put up any spots/zits they receive as Boots the Chemist finally wised up to bottles of Oxy going missing and finally added store alarms.
They qualify for free things like achne specialist stuff but the doctors got so tired of the constant visits from the 18 year old mother with 5 children that they got kicked off the panel.
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Male Chavs:

Usually find it 'cool' and 'hard' to wear a small gold hoop in their ear or sometimes a small 'blinging' diamond.
They wear huge, thick fake gold chains as if trying to pull off that 'Mr T' look.
They too, are fond of wearing tracksuits like their female counter-parts only it is of major significance that the sport name logo or trade mark is showing to demonstrate to OTHER Chav's how much of their 'well ace' Dole was spent this month.
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Their hair is usually one of two styles:

1/. The classic skin head 'I'm well hard' look.. Sometimes sporting some kind of bizarre shaven lines in random patterns forming their favourite football team or the Addias symbol etc..
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2/. Short and with lot's of 45 pence gel spiking it up.
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Male Chav's like to adorn themselves with anything that they think might have the ability to make them look toughened.
A fine example of this is the way they tilt their caps (usually burberry) to a high angle as they believe this increases their style of trying to be obdurate.
It actually just makes them look like a twat although they are too dense to see this.
They are very competitive in the world of racing other Chav's in seeing who can keep their trainers in the most immaculate 'Snow White' condition, or who can show the most Adidas stripes.
It is of uber importance that their tracky bottoms are tucked into their socks as some kind of social trade mark of acceptance within the Chav mainstream.
You will usually hear them say something a long the lines of "Wot da fook u lukin at" and "Ya fookin startin? I wil bang yaz out innit"
This normally translates to "Excuse me friend, but are your eyes appearing in my general direction? I would very much like you to avert them as I am terribly afraid of anything 'different'.." and "Although you have actually said nothing, I perceive a slight movement from your head as a signal for me to open my mouth and utter wasteful words upon you. I will not actually physically assault you myself, what I actually mean is I will round up 10 of my cretinous buddies and I will let them intimidate you and do my donkey work for me".
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So yes, I conclude that the 'Chav' is just an uninformed, unintellectual waste of human life.
They continue to produce more offspring which will grow up to be as simple-minded as the previous futile generation. They will grow to be Dole fodder or if they're lucky.. Maybe acquire work in a fast food place. FOREVER.
Their aspirations and dreams consist only of purchasing the next ugly gold chain from the market or buying more cigarettes from the local corner shop.

They cost us time, tax and tears yet do not show any thanks except only to waste more of our time and so-forth. Anything that is remotely 'different' to them or considered as being a 'minority' is automatically WRONG in their eyes.
They are ignorant and close-minded because they lack the capacity to understand anything else beyond their own moronic world.

They are NOTHING.

..End..
Source
by PeggyLuXXX June 10, 2007
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18
Somone who has the biggest gob on them... pills on foundation, looks like coco the clown and hates emo's
Shut up you Chav, go drowm yourself in foundation
by PeanutButterJellyTime January 09, 2008
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19
Stupid, idiotic morons who beleive they are supreme and that they can do anything they want. There are many ways to spot a Chav: 1. They walk like idiots listening to shit 'music'. 2. They have a thick, weird way of talking especially when they listen to shit R&B music. 3. They are ridiculously rude to people that they have no idea of how hard they are. Chavs are not good friends, they are Pricks and Twats.
Chavs: Fuck you, Fuck off! Oh I godda go watch da match man.

Me: Fuck off you stupid Chav
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20
The twats that walk around with some kind of strange limp as if their "hard" and could "kick the shit out of you". To non-chavs, the walk actually looks like the chavs have shit themseleves, they most likely have, when their 15 year old girlfreind(a chavette)tells them shes pregnant.

Chavs are the waste of space that no one likes, the teachers hate them adults hate them, grebs hate them, as do emos and goths. Many townies dont,this is because townies suck up to them so they dont have the piss taken.

Chavs can be found hanging around the streets at night smoking and rolling around on the floor pissed, they'll be in groups of 6-15 so they look "hard".

If a chav says anything to you, you most likely wont understand a word of it, this is because, since their not human they dont talk any word found in a normal dictionary (unless its swearing) they'll be the ones that talk in a strange barking fashion.

A compliment to a chav could include issuing them an ASBO, to them this proves they are a "hard",to normal people it proves they need mental help.
Chav: f*cking greb!
Greb: Wow your smart, next u can learn to count to ten.
Chav: I'll kick the shit out of u!
Greb: Go on then
Chav: *never hits the greb, walks off, muttering* F*cking grebs!
Greb: *shouts after the chav:* wow that really hurt!
by Greb 'n' proud December 04, 2005
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