Cat-Lap 

A Victorian society term used scornfully/sarcastically by drinkers of strong beer and other liquors to refer to tea and coffee.

“I'll take a beer. I'm not into that Cat-Lap like the people you might be used to seeing around here.”

Cat-Lap by C L G January 31, 2021

lap-cat

an unshaven or hairy pussy, usually somewhat trimmed.

Jane petted her lap-cat until she was over come by a little death.

lap-cat by Pallid October 22, 2009

I have a cat in my lap 

The last excuse for not doing something without admitting to laziness. Often used by cat owners and drunks/meth whores

Mom: Timothy, take out the trash!
Tim: I will.
Mom: No, NOW!
Tim: I'm busy.
Mom: BULLSHIT!
Tim: But, I have a cat in my lap!

Bill: Ted, can you hand me a beer.
Ted: Go gret it yershelf....
Bill: Dude, it's right there.
Ted: .....MraI have a crat in m'lap.....
Bill: There's nothing there...where are your pants? ...You have shit on your dick.

I have a cat in my lap by imthatawesome September 14, 2012

CAT BUTT RUT LAPPER 

ANALINGUS and RECTALINGUS.

On the YEAR OF THE CAT I heard this CAT BUTT RUT LAPPER really went to TOWN and got into some DEEP SHIT STEW eventually as some indiscriminately.

CAT BUTT RUT LAPPER by INSERT CAREFULLY September 2, 2021

CatLap 

The condition in which your (or someone else's) cat settles into your lap, and you can no longer move. It's a serious condition, resulting in being unable to go to the washroom or get your own beverages until the condition is resolved (the cat gets up and moves).

I currently have CatLap, and haven't been able to do anything for hours. Maybe she'll move soon? Send coffee.

CatLap by LadySeraphina December 5, 2012

catlapper 

A lesbian. A female who performs oral sex on another female.

Man, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I found out she's a catlapper; she's hot!

catlapper by Fishingdoubler September 25, 2006

Catlapitis

A term for when you have contracted a cat on your lap.

I have Catlapitis and I am alright with this.

Catlapitis by Crazy Cat Person November 22, 2022