Counting 

The incremental process that we teach to our 3 year olds so that they know how to accurately articulate the number of desired cookies. Counting is sometimes used to achieve an election result, but more often is seen in the private sector as a mechanism of identifying the millionth product sold by a given manufacturer.

Ted: How did they figure out who bought the billionth McDonald's cheeseburger?

Ralph: They were counting.

Counting by Kate Sjostrand February 14, 2008

counting 

One two three four, I will screw you on the floor
Five six seven eight, don't worry I will ejaculate
Nine ten eleven twelve, we can do it on the shelves
Thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen, don't worry there will be a mess to clean
Seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty, if you want some more there's plenty
Twenty one twenty two twenty three twenty four, I can walk you to your door,maybe we can do some more
Twenty five twenty six twenty seven twenty eight, you'll be moaning this is great
Twenty nine thirty, thirty one thirty two, this is the story of how I'll fuck you.

Counting with us

counting by Ashley the anonymous August 29, 2015

counting 

i can count

counting is fun

counting by Vinny Eoh April 10, 2019

counting shoulders 

its a term used to put your arm around someone. you start with counting ur far shoulder away from them as one, two which is the closest one to them, 3 their first and 4th the farthest one on the other side and keep ur arm around them

“have you ever counted shoulders before?”
“dude, i just used the counting shoulders trick on katie and it worked!”

counting shoulders by kathryn money September 25, 2018

counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees 

Assuming you will have something before you actually have it; similar to "counting your chickens before they hatch" (which is commonly attributed to Aesop).

"The Mariners could do better than expected this year."

"Let's not kid ourselves. Check your premises before you make a prediction."

"I'm assuming a number of things go right. Maybe I'm just counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees."

counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees by Rusanova March 7, 2012

Counting With Jerold 

The best counter

Counting With Jerold count to 4
okay
1
2
3
4

Counting With Jerold by ismelltheindoorsnow November 12, 2020

counting pockets

The act of assuming or guessing other people's finances or net worth. Some take it a step further and actually try to suggest how others should spend their money.

"You make enough money off of sponsorships, you should take a pay cut to help bring in more players for your team."
"Stop counting pockets and worry about yo damn self."

counting pockets by KD's Burner Page October 14, 2017