compaq 

an extremely shitty computer where everything is built into the motherboard so nothing can be upgraded.

Compaq is the best thing in computers since AOL!

compaq by BJ March 20, 2003

compaq 

Manufacter of the world's first IBM compatable laptop computer. It weighed around 30lbs and was the equivlent of a 8088 processor. unfortunatly they never improved their technology and finally got bought out by HP

This is the worst computer i've ever used.

compaq by KGraham December 17, 2003

COMPAQ 

A brand of Computers and Laptops, whose letters stand for 'Craptastic Ominfrustrating Mega Piece of Anything Questionable'. The word 'Omnifrustrating' implies that laptops of this brand are usually found by the user to be frustrating on a variety of different levels. This definition stems from my hate for this brand which has grown both due to my own experience for more than five years with COMPAQ laptops as well as any IT professional's reaction upon learning the brand of laptops of which I've just complained.

"Man I hate this freaking COMPAQ! What a Craptastic Omnifrustrating Mega Piece of Anything Questionable!"

"User: 'My laptop's not working at all! It's giving me grief and causing me a lot of frustration, and I only bought it 3 weeks ago!'
IT Tech: 'What laptop do you have?'
User: 'It's a COMPAQ.'
IT Tech: 'Ah, there's your first problem.'"

COMPAQ by KloudNyne January 14, 2009

COMPAQ 

Another word for a "shitty Computer"

man my computer is acting like a Compaq!

COMPAQ by Robert Nagel July 27, 2008

compaq 

Compaq is a company that makes computers/laptops that are built to fail. The device takes ages to load. It is recommended for snails.

When turning off my Compaq Presario,I would rather press and hold the power button instead of pressing 'Shut Down'.

compaq by jock0213 October 16, 2011

compaq 

A computer manufacturer accidentally mispelled its name on all of its company letterhead. It was supposed to be Comcrap, but once it was printed "Compaq," it was too late to change it. They make computers that are vastly overpriced, underpowered, and generally unreliable.

Dude, my Compaq died for the fourth time yesterday.

compaq by Anonymous February 9, 2003

compaq 

Makers of PC computer systems that are made by sweatshop workers in third world countries in textile mills. They use unreliable components and often take cost-saving measures such as: building everything but the kitchen sink onto the motherboard so it is unlikely anybody will ever try to upgrade. Software only modems. Bios that does not recognize a boot drive unless it is pre-loaded with mindless Compaq shovelware. IDE ribbon cables with only 1 head. Riser cards for horizontally oriented PCI slots.
Best of all they pass the saving on to you, the consumer. Oops, sorry, that last bit is what the other computer manufacturers do.

My Grandma upgraded to a Compaq from a 286 PC Jr. and noticed a slight decrease in performance. Also the XGA graphics on the old computer were better.

compaq by Gimli July 15, 2003