buff garfield
buff garfield by Soggy Potatoes August 20, 2019
Get the buff garfield mug.
Buff Garfield
A buff version of the lovable orange cat Garfield, that is known to many, including me, as the strong creator of our universe. Also has a 10-inch shlong.
Joanna was minding her own business, walking through the halls of a large university. She was heading to her dorm, passing her fellow students. On her way to her dorm, a fellow friend of Joanna's was walking the opposite way to her, and decided to stop her for a quick little chat.
"Oh, Joanna, I'm glad I ran into you!" He said to Joanna, happy to see her.
"Oh, hey! What is it you need?"
"I just wanted to show you something that will make you... lose yourself..." He pulled out his phone and entered his pin. Confused and worried, Joanna waddles over to his phone to see what he wanted to show her.
He tapped onto the Photos app, and told Joanna to close her eyes. Confused, she nodded and proceeded to cover her eyes with her hands.
A minute later, Joanna was told to uncover her eyes, and her eyes widened at the sight on the phone. It was a picture of a buff version of the lovable character Garfield, wearing nothing but red speedos doing their very best to cover up the majestic ginger rod that Garfield was packing.
"May I interest you in... Buff Garfield?"
After hearing what he said and looking at the picture, a warm liquid could be felt trying to gust its way towards Joanna's womanhood. "I- I- gotta go!" Panicked, she ran to the nearest bathroom. She slammed the cubical door shut, and pulled down her skirt to stare at the liquid that came out of her. "Ahhh! H-how did I manage to cum just by looking at a picture of Buff Garfield? That has to be impossible!"
"Oh, Joanna, I'm glad I ran into you!" He said to Joanna, happy to see her.
"Oh, hey! What is it you need?"
"I just wanted to show you something that will make you... lose yourself..." He pulled out his phone and entered his pin. Confused and worried, Joanna waddles over to his phone to see what he wanted to show her.
He tapped onto the Photos app, and told Joanna to close her eyes. Confused, she nodded and proceeded to cover her eyes with her hands.
A minute later, Joanna was told to uncover her eyes, and her eyes widened at the sight on the phone. It was a picture of a buff version of the lovable character Garfield, wearing nothing but red speedos doing their very best to cover up the majestic ginger rod that Garfield was packing.
"May I interest you in... Buff Garfield?"
After hearing what he said and looking at the picture, a warm liquid could be felt trying to gust its way towards Joanna's womanhood. "I- I- gotta go!" Panicked, she ran to the nearest bathroom. She slammed the cubical door shut, and pulled down her skirt to stare at the liquid that came out of her. "Ahhh! H-how did I manage to cum just by looking at a picture of Buff Garfield? That has to be impossible!"
Buff Garfield by short_story_examples June 1, 2023
Related Words
buff garfield • buff • buff chick • Buff-A-Ho • buff man • buff baby • buff bean • Buff Helpy • buff and wax • Buff Bomb
flophouse
Any house/apartment/frat house/trailer/etc. which is used for individuals to crash (sleep, chill, hang out, lurk, etc.) for a period of time. In order to "crash", one must not actually live there (e.g. have their name on the lease, own said flophouse, etc.). Flophouses are typically used by college students, drug addicts, transients, vagrants, or other unsavory characters.
A flophouse may also be the home owned by the parents of a college student, who after being away at college, wishes to live as if he/she is still at college (e.g. staying out all night, returning just to crash at mom and dad's house, then leaving again), rather than conforming to the pre-college rules.
A flophouse may also be the home owned by the parents of a college student, who after being away at college, wishes to live as if he/she is still at college (e.g. staying out all night, returning just to crash at mom and dad's house, then leaving again), rather than conforming to the pre-college rules.
Example #1
Dude: (Talking to someone passed out face first on the floor of his college apartment) Hey man, who the hell are you? What do you think this is, a flophouse??
Bro: Sorry dude, I must have passed out for a minute.
Example #2
Mom: Where have you BEEN for the last three days? You come home just to sleep?? What do you think this is, a flophouse??!!
Son: What's your problem? I'm an adult now!
Dude: (Talking to someone passed out face first on the floor of his college apartment) Hey man, who the hell are you? What do you think this is, a flophouse??
Bro: Sorry dude, I must have passed out for a minute.
Example #2
Mom: Where have you BEEN for the last three days? You come home just to sleep?? What do you think this is, a flophouse??!!
Son: What's your problem? I'm an adult now!
Hate Sink
A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.
Hate Sink by The great prophet Zarquon August 7, 2016
Word of the Day on July 26, 2026
Toe Rag
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026
Eternity leave
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026