The only item in every hotel room that will keep two straight guys from bumping into eachother while sleeping in bed together...otherwise known as an ironing board.
Get the bedboard board you greasy goose, I don't want my leg hair grazing yours in bed.
Breastboarding is asphyxiation by American mammary glands. A paradigm of non-torture utilized to elicit military intelligence. A means of education; didactic. See waterboarding for a less entertaining form of erudition.
GI Jane breastboarded that "terrorist" all the way to Allah. Her breastboarding was beautiful and brutal and blissbul to witness. I savor the thought of hopefully seeing a callipygian version of her breastboarding