A sex move in which you jizz on a girl's face, then when she's about to go wash it off, you whip out your bitchin' twin supersoakers and blast it off her face with twin streams of superpowered water.
Boy: Hey whats your favorite pokemon?
Man: I don't play pokemon.
Boy: Oh. Mine's the Blastoise.
Man: Go to your room.
by BTLighting February 2, 2011
When u puss all over your partner, whilst saying you don't have enough badges to train me.
I was blastoiseing my girl so hard last night.
by Bull111117 December 20, 2016
When you hold your nut in several days till max capacity and then during sex as you gush semen out of your canon, yell “hydro pump!” To then curl up in your shell and go do sleep after a battle well done.
After a long month of No Nut November, Tyler went Blastoiseing. Best sleep he ever had. Turns out his wife is pregnant though. They are expecting a lil squirtle in 9 months.
by Itslitfam January 6, 2021
After sex as you cum on your partners face you also shit on their chest while yelling “You don’t have enough Badges to train me!!”
Joel was blastoising her that hard she almost drowned and there was shit from her chin to her knees”
by Rocket82 April 7, 2019
friend 1: oh yeah well your mom is worse at call of duty then you are!
friend 2: stop with the blastoisements, thats not even funny.
by jccp4jc74 September 14, 2009
When you are fucking someone and nut on their face, you pull out a 5 gallon bucket of water and dump it on them.
I was fucking this chick and right when I nutted on her face I Started Blastoising all over her.
by MajinMikey March 6, 2016
When an awkward turtle is insufficient for the awkwardity of the situation, one must "evolve" their awkward turtle into the Awkward Blastoise. This hand configuration uses the pointer and pinky finger of the top hand as Hydro Pumps to douse the situation.
While visiting his girlfriend's parents, Rob farted at the dinner table very loudly. The mom implemented the awkward turtle, but was immediately over-ruled by the dad's more appropriate use of the Awkward Blastoise in order to sufficiently encompass the awkwardity of the situation.
by Cypress A 106 April 24, 2009