Be Chauncey 

To miss an exam.

Example:

Professor: Yes, Chauncey, what can I do for YOU?
Chauncey: Professor Adjuncter, Remember. I go by Spike. I missed the exam. When can I take it?
Professor: Well, Spike, what does the syllabus say about missed exams?
Chauncey: Beats me.
Professor: Let me refresh your memory. You must notify me in advance if you will miss an exam, or you will get a zero, unless there is an emergency. Did you have an emergency?
Chauncey: No. I had an extreme emergency.
Professor: Sorry to hear that. What was it?
Chauncey: It was extreme. And it was an emergency. I had to wake up, and I didn't. So I overslept. Too much partying, dude.

To be continued...

Example continued:

Professor: Well, Chauncey, er, Spike, the exam was a week ago. It's been corrected and returned. Why am I HEARING about it now?
Chauncey: I was busy. Remember I had an emergency. An extreme emergency.
Professor: So now you expect me to write another exam just for you, even though the syllabus says that you should get a zero? Do you know how hard it is to write an exam?
Chauncey: Not my problem, Professor Adjuncter. When can I take that exam?
Professor: You can't take the exam. Sleeping late is not an emergency. Waiting a week to tell me is even worse.
Chauncey: How's tomorrow? I can take it tomorrow?
Professor: No. You can't take it tomorrow. You can't take it at all. You got a zero.
Chauncey: I'm going to the dean. I'll have your job, you worthless piece of dung.
Professor: Well, do what you must, Chauncey. Even before the zero, the average in the was a 38. If you score 100% in everything, you will still fail.
Chauncey: Oh, yeah, I meant to ask about extra credit.

Don't miss exams. Don't be Chauncey.

Be Chauncey by Some rando out there August 2, 2024