BatchMonkey

Phil Batchelor: a man with a 20 inch dong.

Whoah, i saw a batchmonkey in the showers today

by Chris Scott January 14, 2004

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bitchmonkey

Many species of monkeys are known for their shit flinging capabilities. Bitches can be anyone of offensive nature. Therefore the bitchmonkey is someone who throws their shit at you just to make you miserable. In the instance of the bitchmonkey the shit is metaphorical for problems, psychological issues, or in rare occasions, actual shit.

"That bitchmonkey ruined my birthday party by having a meltdown at the Chuck-E-Cheese in front of everyone."

by I have an answer for everything January 6, 2005

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BatchMonkey • batmonkey • Batmonkey_vr • battymonkey • hatchmonkey • ass-sucking-batmonkey

Batch Monkey

(n.) Commonly used to describe disgruntiled business owners that are unaware of the procedures needed to be taken in order to get paid from a credit card terminal, software, or POS device...

Most people who are "Batch Monky's" tend to believe that if they pay a monthly fee to run credit cards, it's everyones else responsibility to make certain they get money in THEIR pockets.

-- "You guys have no idea how to do your job, I haven't gotten a deposit in 3 weeks!! WTF is wrong with you assholes. I WANT MY MONEY NOW!! I pay you guys every month, WHERE'S MY MONEY?!"

--"Well, sir/ma'am it's standard credit card processing procedure that you close your batch every evening after business, you're missing $34,596.94 as a deposit?! Simply close your batch!"

--"No one told me that I had to do that! Okay, I'll press the CLOSE BATCH button next time, THANKS... Goodbye"

--"Thank you for calling anyway...(click) you Batch Monkey Ass MothaFucka, do MY job. Heh!"

by ALKAIZER June 25, 2009

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