A response to someone who does something that undermines a perfectly devious strategy, taken from the words of Jackie Childs from Seinfeld when Kramer put balm on his thighs which cured the burns from a hot cup of coffee, thus thwarting their strategy to sue for permanent disfigurement.
I set up a fake meeting in my calendar so I wouldn't have to go to the staff meeting, then you screwed it up by suggesting we push the staff meeting back an hour. Who told you to put the balm on?
by RJPSYR September 1, 2009
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by XxZoexX August 1, 2020
Get the bahmf mug.The theory that computer programmers obtain quasi-magical, superhuman coding ability when they have a blood alcohol concentration percentage between 0.129% and 0.138%. The discovery of this effect is attributed to Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft - who probably "discovered" it by simply monitoring his own perpetually inebriated nervous system, and deducing that programming ability "peaks" after a few drinks and then dips dramatically after full-blown drunkenness ensues.
If you can convince your boss that this is all based on legitimate science, and that the effect is real (i.e. your drunkeness = better code = more money for the company), then you will have achieved perfection in this world. There will be no reason to ever come back sober from lunch again.
Also known as "The Ballmer Curve" and "The Ballmer Effect" this state has been observed by people who play darts... and musicians. Although, to be fair, musicians only notice the effect briefly (and totally by accident) as they transition from complete sobriety to absolute drunkeness - without ever even trying to moderate their alcohol intake in order to stay at the peak.
If you can convince your boss that this is all based on legitimate science, and that the effect is real (i.e. your drunkeness = better code = more money for the company), then you will have achieved perfection in this world. There will be no reason to ever come back sober from lunch again.
Also known as "The Ballmer Curve" and "The Ballmer Effect" this state has been observed by people who play darts... and musicians. Although, to be fair, musicians only notice the effect briefly (and totally by accident) as they transition from complete sobriety to absolute drunkeness - without ever even trying to moderate their alcohol intake in order to stay at the peak.
I had three more Long Island Teas after I had already hit the Ballmer Peak, so now none of my fucking code will compile.
by cathodeRay February 4, 2008
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Get the Bahamian Lobster Trap mug.You have been so depressed ever since you and your girlfriend broke up. You need a heart balm, like a dog to keep you company or maybe you should join some clubs.
by Nique January 4, 2005
Get the heart balm mug.by homeless_bum____ August 18, 2009
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