Aunt Gertrude The Third 

Typically located in a rural area, far from civilization, this rare specimen in her mid to late 50s is often referred to by scientists as an “Erika”. The exotic Gertude is often followed by the chant “dun dun dun” and a mariachi band. The creatures putrid bowl movements force all civilization within a 25 mile radius to evacuate to the nearest bomb shelter until the toxic gases have been omitted from the area. However, that plot of land will be inhabitable for years to come. Due to the genetic makeup of this creature, their back can not reach further than a 45° angle. The occasional Gertrude can be enticed by the smell of sharp cheddar cheese and the noise of diet coke streaming into a full yeti cup of vodka.

“I cant believe someone left cheese laying around! Aunt Gertrude The Third is going to force us into quarantine for weeks!”

Aunt Gertrude The Third by Georgetta Stone June 15, 2022