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A Buffalo Nickel 

A shitty hand-job performed for the price of $5 USD.
He was a catch, but all I got was a Buffalo Nickel.
Words you can keep

Squeeze a nickel 'til the buffalo shits 

Exceedingly frugal, ridiculously cheap, unwilling or unable to let go of money when one should
"Trying to get this guy to pay for something is impossible...He could squeeze a nickel 'til the buffalo shits!"

Squeeze a nickel 'til the buffalo shits 

Cheap sonofabitch. Will argue at length why s/he shouldn't have to pay for something. Mr. Pink from Resevoir Dogs. Often has few if any other friends because of reputation for cheapness. Frugal beyond practicality, cheap for its own sake.

The saying is in reference to an earlier version of the US Nickel, which had a picture of a buffalo on it. The phrase is sometimes updated as: "He'll squeeze a nickel till a booger flies out of Jefferson's nose."
"Fuckin' Randy! We all went to eat at Dennys and when the check came he paid with exact change and refused to throw in for the tip."

"Yeah, he'll squeeze a nickel 'til the buffalo shits. That's why I'm banging his girlfriend now."
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