Muffin

A muffin is a human female who engages in inauthentic friendly interactions with other parties despite having largely neutral or out right ill-will towards said parties. A muffin commonly expresses to these parties that she is a true "BFF" or that she would later like to "hang out". No further evidence of "BFF" status is ever provided. Appointments to "hang out" are either solidified and later dropped by the muffin, or more routinely never given a concrete date and time. Other common attributes of muffins inclue: Saccharine insincerity, talking badly of others behind their backs despite being kind to them in person, and Facebook pictures which involve the thrusting forward of one's bosom in an awkward attempt to posture attractively.

(Actual Interaction between a PERSON and a MUFFIN as recorded at a college town social event 9/25/2010)
MUFFIN: Oh, hi there. I haven't seen you in like forever.
PERSON: Oh, hi. How are you doing?
MUFFIN: I am doing so great. Isn't this the coolest place in the world? This is my favorite place to go ever.
PERSON: Yeah, it's alright I guess. How have you be-
MUFFIN: Remember when we took that absolutely awful class with that professor who smelled like old Rice Krispies. That class was so stupid.
PERSON: Uh, yeah, I guess.
MUFFIN: You know what? We should hang out. Seriously, you were like my best friend in that class. We were practically like sisters. We gotta do something.
PERSON: Oh, sure. You doing anything next weekend? We could grab some lunch.
MUFFIN: Oh no. I'm super busy that day, but you are on my Facebook, right?
PERSON: Um...
MUFFIN: *using cellphone* I just sent you a request. That'll be 1263 for me. *giggle* Oh hi, Jessica, I haven't seen you in forever. You know you are my best- *walks away*
PERSON: *shrug* Bye?

by Cabbage Flavored Popcorn January 12, 2013

Muffin time

Muffin time is/was a popular song on Tik tok in 2018. It was well known from Anna b official who made one of the most popular Tik toks in history. Almost all users know that video.

Jimmy: Did you hear about that girl who did that muffin time video?

Larry: Yeh, shez a asface. I wached her tudai an I wan die rinoe

by Chezbegurs December 22, 2018

Bluffin With My Muffin

To sexually tease a male with promises of getting laid with a female

flashing a vagina and saying "YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS!"

Lady Gaga's Poker Face

Girl: "heyyy im horny lets do it!"
Guy: "OMG YESS!!!"
Girl: "hahaha only bluffin with my muffin!"
Guy: "i hate you"

by London_Girl January 12, 2010

slut-muffin

whore, skank, slut, floosey(personal favorite)

Jill is such a slut-muffin, that she blew the entire basketball team.

by ladeezmann5 March 11, 2006

Butter the Muffin

When you reach the end of your coupling and are approaching your vinegars you pull out and decorate her tree with heathy spurts of bloke gravy.

Spot the dog growled as Jack buttered Jane's muffin. Butter the Muffin.

by MurderousYoric April 30, 2009

muffin

the cutest most adorable huggable squeeshable thing ever. can refer to puppies, boyfriends, best friends, etc...

mario is such a muffin!

by fancy granola December 28, 2005

dirty muffin

During anal intercourse, the male will remove his penis and reinsert it in the girl's vagina. The feces on his penis are transferred to the girls vagina creating a dirty muffin.

Last night, I was giving it to her in the ass, then before I blew my load I stuck it in her puss. By the time I was done she had one dirty muffin.

by Sammy Cayman July 24, 2005