John 

Another word for thing or place.

“Yo, grab that john”
“We need to get outa this john”

John by I Am Him, no questions asked February 4, 2024

John 

A middle aged fat guy who spends his days unemployed, getting drunk, and making everyone around him feel awkward. Most likely divorced and his kids act like he doesn’t exist. He is probably single and trying to hit on women at the bar that he will never have a chance with, or remarried to the first loser who settled for him while still doing that. He is always asking friends or family for loans to buy stuff he can’t afford. He is commonly seen wearing a white t shirt at the lake, an oversized watch to keep up the false appearance of a lifestyle he doesn’t have, or driving an oversized truck/SUV he can’t afford. He acts like a corporate big shot and tries to strut around like he owns everything, but can barely make it 20 feet without gasping for dear life. Avoid John and guys like him unless you like losers who mistake their extra body mass for muscle.

“My husband is a dick to the kids, a dick to me, a dick to everyone, but without him I can’t have the house we can’t afford and will have to move back in with my mom.”

“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”

“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”

“I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”

John by Make feather hat get fat February 5, 2024

john 

john is a femboy that is very submissive and very breedable. you can preorder from the insta page fish.and.chips.nigga
he comes with a bdsm pack containing dildoes of different sizes and various strapons for you to use. condoms arent includded

john is delicious

john by fishandchipsniggers February 26, 2024

john 

if your friend’s name is john, these definitions aren’t fake!

1. he like boys 101%
2. you like him
3. you love him so much that you save him as “ysc”, “eyes don’t lie”, pillow” etc etc, make up scenarios in your head about john and you cuddling watching a movie together (perferably an anime) and getting all mushy mushy with eachother that you go into a bedroom and you know what happens next and then after that you two fall alseep in bed half naked, and then kidnap him and do crimes to him that would get you in prison for millennials upon millennials, and you bully him.
4. you hate him so much

1. “John obviously likes ______ because he’s always near him!”
2. “I.. think I like John..”
3. …
4. “Omg.. is that John?! He’s soo ugly! I just hate him!”

john by the delulu one March 9, 2024

john 

cop-lingo for a man who hires prostitutes

We saw him leaving the hotel room with that known prostitute. He's definitely a john.

john by lala9978 May 23, 2024

John 

A John is a person full of passion, love and understanding. It will always focus on your best interests and will always make sure to help you when in need.

Thank god John is here, my life would be very different without John!

John by Exio June 1, 2024

John 

A elderly, senior, aged, older adult, senior citizen, geriatric, advanced in age, aging, golden ager, retiree, old, mature, veteran, pensioner, elder, old-timer, long-lived, septuagenarian, octogenarian, nonagenarian, centenarian, elderly person, ancient, oldster, patriarch, matriarch, superannuated, timeworn, grizzled, seasoned, hoary, elderly individual, longevous, declining in years, aging person, past their prime ass nigga.

Damn, John still coming around?

John by WhatTheChapterFeeling June 3, 2024