Slim Jesus

- A fake "gangster" rapper.

- A way to say someone is fake as hell.

That boy a Slim Jesus lying about his hood.

by VailStraightliner December 7, 2016

Jesus joint

A marijuana cigarette rolled with Bible pages in lieu of joint papers.

"Hey, Caleb, we should roll a joint!"

"I wish we could, Brandon, but we don't have any papers."

"Wait! I have my bible! Let's roll a Jesus joint!"

"Oh joyous day! Our afternoon is saved! Quick, I'll race ya to 1st John!"

by brandonjamesrice November 18, 2009

Jesus crap

What comes out when you try to say "Jesus Christ" and "holy crap" at the same time. Will generally come across as either humorous or bizarre to any listeners, unless they are devoutly Christian, in which case they may likely be offended.

Did you hear? The gas station down the road exploded!
Jesus crap!
...What?

by Screennameless January 31, 2009

Griefer Jesus

Noun

A satirical version of the Christian god in Grand Theft Auto V wielding a railgun, operating a flying bike, or driving the player's vehicle. He is summoned at random or by choice in GTA V chaos mode with the intent of disrupting or "griefing" the player. Popularised by the streamer "DarkViperAu".

Etymology: Griefer (A player that intentionally ruins the game of others) + Jesus (the name of the Christian god)

The viewers on twitch summoned Griefer Jesus to troll on Matto.

by Rektz April 30, 2022

rolling jesus

a hand rolled cigarette.

-dude, can i have a rolling jesus?

-shure, just let me find my tobacco first...

by laberge October 21, 2009

Jesus-to-Fetus

A common cuddling position where the man, usually, is laying flat on his back with his arms outspread, reminiscent of Jesus' position on the cross. The girl, usually, will then be cuddled up against the guy's side, in fetal position. This is a more advanced cuddling position.

They're getting pretty serious. Homeboy's got her Jesus-To-Fetus

by sacuse November 25, 2010

Jesus Beard

The path of soft snow that has been freshly groomed on a ski/snowboard hill. It is so smooth it feels exactly like what Jesus' beard would feel like if it were a mountain.

Sam: What hill should we go down next?
Blake: Let's go down Four Pipe, I just saw a new patch of Jesus Beard.

by TheSwineFlew December 27, 2011