cock monkey

See also: prick, dick, twat, arse monkey, cock meister, cock gobbler.

An idiot of immense proportion, usually amazingly arrogant and annoying.

Also used affectionately.

Insult: (Spills your pint while dancing like a epileptic making toast in the bath) "You fookin' cock monkey!"

Affec: (You best mate shows you a polaroid of him teabagging you) "Aahhh, yah cock monkey!"

by Gregatron September 23, 2003

porch monkey

a derogatory way of describing an person of African decent

hey porch monkey--you got the money you owe me for the crack rock I sold you?

by charlie December 9, 2003

Slapping the monkey

British slang for masturbation

John- *fap fap fap*
Bill- hey... what are you doing
John- Not slapping the monkey if thats what you think

by Shamingo June 18, 2011

monkey bump

The hardened raised area of a severe blow. Usually administered with the middle knuckle of a fist. Common amoung siblings.

When aggravated Jon would inflict one hell of a monkey bump!

by [e-mail] September 25, 2004

Arctic Monkeys

Arctic Monkeys are a UK punk/indie/alternative band. From Sheffield, England. Songs inc. Mardy Bum, A Certain Romance, I Bet That You Look Good (on the dancefloor) etc

"Alright mate, what ya listenin' to?"
"Oh a bit'o Arctic Monkeys"

by S#0rt1 September 30, 2006

Hand monkey

A person who just holds a joint and lets it burn, wasting the marijuana, instead of puff-puff-passing like a normal person.

Damn Courtney, either smoke it or pass it. Stop being such a hand monkey; you're wasting the weed.

by D.Train August 22, 2010

Monkey dart

When you fold a dollar bill long ways at a strip club.

This past weekend i was throwing monkey darts around left and right at the titty bar.

by Zwallander15 April 12, 2010