The ultimate power in the universe. The opposite of a douchebag. The man who single handedly killed Adolf Hitler. The man who sold his soul to the devil for immortality, invincibility, and ultimate power and greatness and promptly killed the devil and tok back his soul. Ye who would seek the one who made you, goeth to the house of Chuck Norris! He madeth you in his beard!
by The Anti-Douchebaggery Comitee October 8, 2009
Get the Chuck Norris mug.by udaddict June 6, 2009
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Chuck norris once sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th, but because Jesus was too afraid to tell Chuck that his real birthday was not on the 25th, Christams is celebrated that day.
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Chuck norris was the fourth Wise Man, he gave jesus the gift of facial hair
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when somebody sneezes they may need a tissue, when Chuck norris sneezes, he asks for body bags.
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Chuck norris sweats bullets AND guns.
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Chuck norris doesnt travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of chuck norris.
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Chuck norris' tears cure cancer, diabetes, hep. B, AIDS, HIV and polio.....too bad he never cries.
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Chuck norris caused the big bang...he round house kicked an infinitely dense point of matter that he squeezed between his eye lids, thus creating the universe.
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Chuck norris created the pyramids while saving a group of children from a burning schoolbus. after he created them, he round house kicked the children to death and then forced the jewish slaves to build them again assuring them their efforts will be remembered. he then proceeded to build the parthanon, the colliseum and the tower of babel.
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Chuck norris doesnt age unless chuck norris wants to.
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Chuck get what Chuck want: the 11th commandment.
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Chuck norris visited Spain and saw than it wasnt connected to europe, he then proceeded to take a crap between then two masses and created France.
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Chuck Norris round house kicked switzerland...that's why the cheese has holes in it.
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Chuck norris doesnt read, he looks at a book and absorbs the text.
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Chuck norris once convinced god that he was sitting in his seat. god had no other choice but to move, lest he get kicked in the teeth.
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If you stare into chuck norris' eyes, you will ascend into heaven, then you'll explode and plumet into hell.
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Chuck norris doesnt gamble, the casinos pay him.
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Chuck norris once had a staring contest with the sun...Chuck won and that's why we have nighttime.
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a blind man once bumped into chuck norris, feeling pity, chuck norris cured the man of his blindness...the last thing the man saw before he died was a very manly foot smashing into his face.
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Chuck norris has only once missed a round house kick strike, he hit the ground and created the grand canyon.
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Chuck norris was the fourth Wise Man, he gave jesus the gift of facial hair
-
when somebody sneezes they may need a tissue, when Chuck norris sneezes, he asks for body bags.
-
Chuck norris sweats bullets AND guns.
-
Chuck norris doesnt travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of chuck norris.
-
Chuck norris' tears cure cancer, diabetes, hep. B, AIDS, HIV and polio.....too bad he never cries.
-
Chuck norris caused the big bang...he round house kicked an infinitely dense point of matter that he squeezed between his eye lids, thus creating the universe.
-
Chuck norris created the pyramids while saving a group of children from a burning schoolbus. after he created them, he round house kicked the children to death and then forced the jewish slaves to build them again assuring them their efforts will be remembered. he then proceeded to build the parthanon, the colliseum and the tower of babel.
-
Chuck norris doesnt age unless chuck norris wants to.
-
Chuck get what Chuck want: the 11th commandment.
-
Chuck norris visited Spain and saw than it wasnt connected to europe, he then proceeded to take a crap between then two masses and created France.
-
Chuck Norris round house kicked switzerland...that's why the cheese has holes in it.
-
Chuck norris doesnt read, he looks at a book and absorbs the text.
-
Chuck norris once convinced god that he was sitting in his seat. god had no other choice but to move, lest he get kicked in the teeth.
-
If you stare into chuck norris' eyes, you will ascend into heaven, then you'll explode and plumet into hell.
-
Chuck norris doesnt gamble, the casinos pay him.
-
Chuck norris once had a staring contest with the sun...Chuck won and that's why we have nighttime.
-
a blind man once bumped into chuck norris, feeling pity, chuck norris cured the man of his blindness...the last thing the man saw before he died was a very manly foot smashing into his face.
-
Chuck norris has only once missed a round house kick strike, he hit the ground and created the grand canyon.
by DAliG June 9, 2007
Get the Chuck Norris mug.M: Hey man any partys this week?
A: Nah man nothing
M: Why dont we chuck a knigto then?
A: OHH YER DONE!
A: Nah man nothing
M: Why dont we chuck a knigto then?
A: OHH YER DONE!
by poopoobear June 11, 2006
Get the Chuck A Knigto mug.You've just been chuck-norrisified!
by Karra and Hannah July 27, 2008
Get the Chuck-Norrisified mug.by MestizoKid October 1, 2018
Get the Chuck E Cheese mug.A mediocre, gimmicky writer, whose novels are more about having 500 showy quotes for scene kids to put on their MySpaces rather than taking the time to develop an actual novel. All of his characters are essentially the time, the plot lines and the so-called "twists" are ridiculous and are not as "deep" as many scenesters may think they are. Scenesters love to say that they love him because it makes them appear smart and cultured and well-rounded.
Panic at the Disco is the only reason he has gained any fame.
Panic at the Disco is the only reason he has gained any fame.
I used to read Chuck Palahniuk before I became disillusioned and reality set in.
Scenester: Have you read the new Chuck Palahniuk book?
Scenester #2: YEAH. It was just so deep; who knew that the clipboard girl was related to the porn star?
Scenester: It made me think about life, again..
Scenester #2: Yeah. You know. Let's go get high.
PALAHNIUK: pall of knee yuck
Scenester: Have you read the new Chuck Palahniuk book?
Scenester #2: YEAH. It was just so deep; who knew that the clipboard girl was related to the porn star?
Scenester: It made me think about life, again..
Scenester #2: Yeah. You know. Let's go get high.
PALAHNIUK: pall of knee yuck
by y hallo thar October 8, 2008
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