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The 'Vampire's Assistant'

just like 'Twilight', its an insult to all vampires and films. basically its about a kid who wants to have more than just a normal life, so decides to go with his friend to this circus full dumbfucks and duechebags who say the most dumbest shit and do the most stupid-ass things. so they meet a guy named 'cirque du freak' (or 'cirque du fuck') who's secretly a vampire, and wants someone to aid him in the war against humans. so to sum it up, the characters are gay, the plot is horrible, and the film is peice of shit that should've never been made! it should be titled 'vampire's ASSistant'!
dracula vs. cirque du freak...

cirque du freak: OMG! my film was so good! i'm so happy i hug myself!

dracula: fuck you! the 'vampire's assistant' sucked ass! get the fuck outta here you fag!!
by AMERICANBANK$TA November 3, 2009
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Hot Vampire Sex

What happens in the Book 4 of the twilight series where Edward and Bella have hot vampire sex. But apparently since there vampires they can keep going and going and going... and nothing's stopping them except there will.
Me:S'up-
Girl: FFFFFFFF, DID YOU KNOW THAT IN THE LAST BOOK OF TWILIGHT BELLA AND EDWARD HAVE HOT VAMPIRE SEX!?
Me:...what the hell...
by Alex the Chao October 9, 2009
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Chocolate Vampire

The act of eating a girl out while she shits at the same time.
Guy 1: Hey so how did it go with your girlfriend last night?
Guy 2: Pretty well i had a chocolate vampire and then we did anal.
by stevey21597 April 7, 2011
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Vegeterian Vampire

Someone who will only drink the blood of an animal.
Edward: Our family is different, we only drink the blood of animals. We call ourselves vegeterian vampires.

Alice: Even though we do love the blood of humans, we do not let ourselves to drink it.
by JelloBello March 30, 2009
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Ass Vampire

A person with no apparent skills except for flattering their supervisors; a particularly obvious, nauseating syncophant.
"Look at Rick laughing at the boss' stupid jokes. What a goddamn ass vampire! Bet he gets promoted.
by Fnort November 27, 2015
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naughty vampire

the act of performing oral sex on menstruating partner
by you burnin January 16, 2011
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Vegetarian Vampire

A wannabe vampire that drinks clamato juice, and resists human blood.
The vampire posers in South Park episode "The Ungroundables" are vegetarian vampires but the Goth kids don't consider them true vampires because they are so uncool.
by bill the cat April 2, 2009
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