Creeping Jesus

Ninja like skills passed down from the big J himself. Creeping Jesus' don't learn these skills... They are born with them.

Person turns in chair and sees you "ARRGGGHHHH!!! CREEPING JESUS"
'I've been here 5 minutes, didn't you hear me?"
Person "NO!!!"

by Meridia17 June 21, 2011

jesus guy

any guy with long hair who resembles jesus.

guy: I saw george the other day.
dude: whats he up to?
guy: well he turned into a jesus guy.

by george January 20, 2005

jesus zombie

those way overly christian rednecks.
you know? the ones that have bumber stickers to express their feelings.

Holy shit those jesus zombies were totally hatin on me casue im a jew.

by j-doggg March 3, 2008

Jesus take the wheel

A command used when the driver of a vehicle requires the use of both his hands for a task other than steering i.e. sending a text, opening a beer, or rolling a joint. He yells “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!” while simultaneously removing his hands from it. It is then the immediate duty of the passenger to reach over , grab the wheel, and steer the vehicle until the driver has his hands free once again.

“Yeah thanks for asking John my weekend was pretty goo… JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL I GOTTA CRACK OPEN THIS BEER. FUCK”

by soggypotatoe June 19, 2021

Sweet Jesus on a Waffle Cone

normally screamed when you want something. Used by stephen colbert.

'Sweet Jesus on a Waffle Cone, please tell me!!!!!'

by MaximumOverdrive January 20, 2009

Sweet polevaulting Jesus

Exclamation of equal parts disgust, disbelief, shock, and horrified concern for the speaker or situation referred to.

Guy #1: I didn't think Palin was so bad. Why didn't you women vote for her, anyway?
Girl #1: Sweet polevaulting Jesus, Caribou Barbie was the ultimate parody of a token! I don't know where the Gay Old Pedophiles find these incompetent candidates. She's tundra trash at it's worst, pimping out her office and family like she did.
Guy #1: OK, OK! Settle down!

by k2kate December 9, 2008

Jesus Phone

The iPhone, one of the most hyped products ever and occasionally called the “Jesus phone” like it was the Second Coming

This is the next "Jesus Phone"

by Lukas Wo July 27, 2007