morning wood

When you wake up in the morning and you find a plank of wood with eyes and a mouth in your bed.

When you wake up in the morning,
What's the first thing that you see,
it's your MORNING WOOD!
MORNING WOOD!

Look around your neighborhood!
Everybody has...
MORNING WOOD!
MORNING WOOD!

by Tristana December 13, 2012

beat wood

verb. To masturbate so hard/fast that the chair or bed you're on starts to make knocking or creaking sounds.

when i get home, im going to beat my wood to my mom's victoria's secret catalogue.

by greekmonkey February 18, 2005

bent wood

A stiff penis that bends to the left as it is fully erected.

Because jordan has bent wood he totally miss aimed is huge cum shot on his boyfriends face.

by henry galker February 10, 2004

good wood

A mix between Korbel brandy and diet coke. This mixture gives off a hint of wood which gives it its name

Brad and Trent be sippin' on that good wood

by squareroot69 February 27, 2011

wood booger

n.

Any leftover residue or crust from a man's ejaculation. Usually found in the nose, tear duct, hair, belly, ass, tits, crack, leg.. anywhere on the female (or male) body part that is visible after crustation.

That took one helluva wood booger to prop up Cameron Diaz's hair in 'Something About Mary'.

Did you notice that wood booger on Ann's chin when she got back from lunch? lol

by lazyeye78 March 26, 2007

eat wood

When a skier hits a tree while skiing.

Example 1:

Skier 1: Yo I caught an edge and ate wood at 40 mph!
Skier 2: God dammit I hate you.
Skier 1: why did you say that?

Example 2:
Hahahaha did you see that stupid lith bag eat wood!?

by SpankMeGentley July 7, 2009

pulp wood

Derogatory term for a Black person, first appearing in the deep south during Reconstruction. Many freed slaves, seking gainful employment along the southern Atlantic coast worked in paper factories. Most were employed to carry the wood pulp in and out of the factories, thus giving the name of Pulp Woods.

person A: Somebody broke into my car and stole my CDs.
person B: Do you know who it was?
person A: Probably a Pulp Wood.

by Wallis Fuller August 24, 2006