Calcium: Are you a schrodinger's douchebag? (he's one himself)
Drift: Nah, I just don't get sarcasm that well. (isn't actually one himself)
Drift: Nah, I just don't get sarcasm that well. (isn't actually one himself)
by Driftshock April 10, 2024
Get the Schrodinger's douchebagmug. by Forgetabout_it1408 August 31, 2025
Get the DoucheBagmug. Not to be confused with the Apprentice Douchebag. Just as there is always a bigger villain behind the scene so to is a bigger douchebag. Usual signs that a primary douchebag is in the area is usually the annoyed feelings you get from the crowd around you. It is always the person who makes everyone at a party feels mad as hell.
by HourglassMage May 10, 2012
Get the Primary Douchebagmug. by Amburger the McRican March 27, 2024
Get the Douchebagmug. by Sk0olbus1 June 29, 2022
Get the Douchebagmug. Dogma and idiosyncrasies of the socially manufactured zombies caught up in the zeitgeist of its contemporary, tabloid celebrity culture. The ideology behind douchebagism could be summarized as the entirety of the ideas and opinions found within the ”impulse buyers” magazine rack at any given supermarket‘s checkout counter, condensed into a lifestyle, à way of life to aspire to, with its own set of internal rules, and it’s own set of values.
by Boro1976 October 24, 2019
Get the Douchebagismmug. A two-wheeled traffic hazard wrapped in $400 worth of neon spandex who truly believes public roads are their personal Tour de France training ground. Usually spotted blocking the entire lane, preaching about “sharing the road” while sharing absolutely none of it.
They’ll ride three-wide through traffic, run red lights like they’re optional, and still look you dead in the eyes like you’re the problem. Owns a $6,000 carbon bike named something pretentious like AeroSoul X-9000, drinks beet juice “for performance,” and logs every ride on Strava like they’re saving humanity.
And heaven forbid you pass one. They’ll lose their Lycra-covered minds. Just ask Gary Peacock — the legendary Park City cyclist who called the cops on a kid named Pierce for daring to drive by him. This man literally opened the guy’s car door and shouted, “I have more rights than you!” while sweating righteousness onto the pavement. That’s the final evolution of the species: the Cop-Summoning Bike Paladin.
Then they gather in packs, vibrating with caffeine and moral superiority, taking up the whole road like a rolling cult of reflective tape and trauma. AND WHY ARE YOU ALL GOING 14 MPH UPHILL BUT 60 MPH DOWN? PICK A SPEED, GREG! YOU’RE NOT IN THE TOUR, YOU’RE GOING TO PANERA!
They’ll ride three-wide through traffic, run red lights like they’re optional, and still look you dead in the eyes like you’re the problem. Owns a $6,000 carbon bike named something pretentious like AeroSoul X-9000, drinks beet juice “for performance,” and logs every ride on Strava like they’re saving humanity.
And heaven forbid you pass one. They’ll lose their Lycra-covered minds. Just ask Gary Peacock — the legendary Park City cyclist who called the cops on a kid named Pierce for daring to drive by him. This man literally opened the guy’s car door and shouted, “I have more rights than you!” while sweating righteousness onto the pavement. That’s the final evolution of the species: the Cop-Summoning Bike Paladin.
Then they gather in packs, vibrating with caffeine and moral superiority, taking up the whole road like a rolling cult of reflective tape and trauma. AND WHY ARE YOU ALL GOING 14 MPH UPHILL BUT 60 MPH DOWN? PICK A SPEED, GREG! YOU’RE NOT IN THE TOUR, YOU’RE GOING TO PANERA!
by racoo01 October 24, 2025
Get the douchebag cyclistmug.