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Running Windows '98 

If someone is not understanding simple things easily and/or is physically slow and not energized, he/she is running Windows '98. *It helps to know if the person is usually smart and/or physically quick to make the judgement justified.*
*It is early in the morning*
What is 100 squared?
-Uhhh....
You need a reboot, stop running windows '98

Coach, I dont feel like running a mile today.
-Windows '98 wont help you win the game next week.

dumb, dumbass, idiot, retard, lazy, tired
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roll her windows

hazza: oi, check out that hot lass over there
bazza: ah yeah, i'm gonna roll her windows down
hazza: you go for it mate!!!1
roll her windows by tonkles August 20, 2015

Microsoft Windows

A decent OS with the most versatility of all OSes. Seriously. This thing can run just about any program and/or application.

Let's go on to debunking common misconceptions about Windows...

1. "Windows crashes like every 5 seconds!!1!1OMG another blue screen!"

While Windows does crash, the amount of times it does and how often is usually dependent on many other factors, those factors involving how much people actually take care of their computers.

Since most people don't know how to simple things like defragment their hard drives every once in awhile, and not open every e-mail attachment they get, it's no wonder people have their computers crash all the time.

Out of the approximate 8 years that I've been using a computer running Windows, I have only gotten the BSoD twice. Twice. And they were both due to me running too many applications over night, anyway. Thank God it did too. I probably would've fried my HDD from the constant strain I was stupidly putting on the CPU.

Take care of your computer, and you don't get crashes. Simple as that.

2 "I'm always getting viruses!!11! Windows always gets viruses!11!! You need to have antivirus stuff!!!!1111!1one1"

Two things:

Common sense (don't download and open every .exe application you see, you dolt. One of the many things people do.)

Windows has a majority of the market share, making it a prime target for malware writers.

Done.

3. "Windows security is a joke! So it's so easy to hack!!11!"

Only here will I give you compensation. Yes, Windows security is pretty bad.

But guess what? An IT tech friend of mine said that a Macintosh would take about a few minutes to hack into, and Linux would take about the same amount of time.

I bet no one ever considered the security of alternate operating systems besides Windows, because they're all pretty bad by themselves.

He even showed me how. And this friend is certified in computer security, so he would know. Stop listening to all that propaganda, people.
I'd love to do more, but I'd spend hours trying to pin point everything.

Microsoft Windows: use it right, and it won't fail you. I'm perfectly fine with the XP OS I've been running for quite some time. It has slowed down a bit from age, but I have never even defragged the hard drive due to memory constraints.
Microsoft Windows by Mr. Sacman August 15, 2009

belly button windows 

Windows of opportunity for enhanced vision providing unique novelty picture frames that help the inverted person see where they are going.
People with their heads up their asses need belly button windows to see where they are going.
belly button windows by JimTheGeek December 20, 2007

more invisible than a black man in a car with tinted windows at 3AM 

Student: Here's my assignment. I know it looks like a blank page, but I wrote it in invisible ink.
Teacher: Damn! It's more invisible than a black man in a car with tinted windows at 3AM! I wish I could give you an A+, but I can't mark it. You fail.

Paint the Windows Shut

Paiting the glass and seams of a window in a crack house so that "The neighbors can't look in and the (crack, weed) smoke can't get out."

CRACKHEAD 1:
"I found an old paint can outside."

CRACKHEAD 2:
"Oh, hell yeah!"

CRACKHEAD 1:
"Paint the windows shut. Paint the windows shut."

CRACKHEAD 2:
"Paint the window shut. Paint the window shut."

microsoft windows

Complete and utter crap.
The biggest piece of shit technology ever invented. Easy to get viruses, breaks down every other second; just absolute shit.
I hate my school for not havin' taught us how to use apple Macintosh instead of piece of shit Microsoft Windows!
microsoft windows by fuckitall June 11, 2006