Crank The Hog

Masturbating aggressively, often times in a corporate setting

“I mean hey man, I don’t have a real job so what else am I gonna do other than crank the hog for 2 hours in the bathroom?” - Gebge

by anonymous June 16, 2025

Anne Crank

Anne Crank, an “angry cry wank”

Angrily stimulating one's genitals with one's hand for sexual pleasure while simultaneously weeping.

Example 1: I am hiding in the attic, the nazis are banging at the door, I am angry, upset and masturbating vigorously. I’m having an Anne Crank.

Example 2: Lee seems very angry and upset today! Maybe he should go for an Anne Crank!

Example 3: After a long, hard, stressful day at work, all Harry wanted to do when he got home was have an Anne Crank.

by JittyMan November 1, 2022

religious engine-cranking

Onomatopoeia description for the sound of a starter-motor.

When cold-starting a vehicle with a carburetor instead of fuel injection, one should use this religious engine-cranking method:
(1) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor twice. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(2) Crank the engine for one second. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(3) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor two more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine for one second again. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(5) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor three more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine again for several rotations; it should start this time. ("Jesuit-esuit-esuit-esuit-vrOOOOM!!")

by QuacksO September 30, 2020

crank salad

when you mix a little but of multiple kinds of weed (concentrates/manufactured allowed NO SYNTHS OR EDIBLES!!!!!)

Oh man we're gonna smoke some crank salad

by Ritz Scythe March 19, 2021

Triple jingle crank

A made up term helping innocent girls avoid coming to terms with the fact they just jerked off two guys to failed execution

Chad: Lauren just ski poled us
Mart: yea
Lauren: come sign this flag commemorating our triple jingle crank

All: wtf

by EggieOnAHeggie September 10, 2021

Crank pipe

A crank pipe is a sophisticatedly blown glass tube with a bubble on the end used specifically for smoking methamphetamine and preferably made with Pyrex. Available in different colors and thickness. Commonly referred to as an "oil burner" when purchased at the store. Car air freshener tubes are also a popular material purchased specifically for the purpose of blowing the glass tube into a bubble with a torch until its red hot and pops a small hole in the top to allow the air flow to carry the smoke as you twist the pipe from 10°-2oclock position into your mouth as you inhale to achieve a good hit. Properly maintaining this unique apparatus is suggested to retain efficient burning. The solid black at the end is referred to as "pipe wipe" or "war-paint" as the soot turns everything you touch black. Ashes or wink paired with a Q-tip is the best way to clean an abused p-lo. Over time them become thin and/or pitted causing them to break at the most inconvenient moment. Out of desperation light bulbs or foil can also be modified for smoking. Average cost is $2.00-$5.00 thin ones are cheapest and broken pipes can also be reblown with a torch or recycled to other tweakers. If your brave the residue can be scraped or "cracked back" refered to as "raping the pipe" when smoked and tastes like shit or even cause a broke dope to fiend out when the last of the shits been smoked already and nothing is left even after hours of dedicated "carpet-surfing" turns up nothing.

Fuckin'A I cant find my crank pipe.

by BunzR_us February 22, 2018

crank it and spank it

When used in business: wrap it up and get on with the task.

Note: if you have an HR department you should not use this phrase in business.

“Okay team, let’s crank it and spank it!”

by Shh shh shh August 1, 2022