by Ozzysyn July 23, 2021
Short for investment banking, an industry devoted to squeezing money out of transactions, famous for paying a metric shitload, being filled with douchebags, and doing absolutely nothing for the benefit of society. It is amazing that anyone actually ends up in this industry, as you have to be very smart to get such a job, but very stupid to take it.
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Vice President #1: "SHIT!!! I'm going to have to spend all weekend getting this investor request done!!!"
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
by Nicholas D April 27, 2007
by scubasteve919 February 11, 2011
*The response that ends all conversations and leaves a painful feeling for the same and opposite sex
*The sign of not caring
*Even if your not flirting this response is a big 'fu' in the face
*The sign of not caring
*Even if your not flirting this response is a big 'fu' in the face
Boy: Hey
Girl: Hey
Boy: I have been thinking that I truly like you how do ou feel about me?
Girl: Your ok i guess
Girl: Hey
Boy: I have been thinking that I truly like you how do ou feel about me?
Girl: Your ok i guess
by DCStheKing November 01, 2015
Meaning I love you. Comes from the IM symbol for a heart <3 using the symbol for less than and the number three, basically an abbreviation on the I less than sign 3.
I <3 dave chappelle!
by Skyone August 10, 2006
You ever reread something and you know what you are saying so your eyes don’t catch the mistake?
Well, consequences should be coincidences… I think you would get it, but rather safe than sorry:)
Clarify I do… or I guess did:)
Well, consequences should be coincidences… I think you would get it, but rather safe than sorry:)
Clarify I do… or I guess did:)
I miss you:(
How I would love to talk to you…
I will even be quiet if that gets me being held by you…
That is how much I want to feel your heart dance against mine…
When you finally know…
When you can see…
When you feel…
All my love for YOU!!!
How I would love to talk to you…
I will even be quiet if that gets me being held by you…
That is how much I want to feel your heart dance against mine…
When you finally know…
When you can see…
When you feel…
All my love for YOU!!!
by A wave I always do 4u❤️❤️❤️❤️ September 10, 2023
Lucky for you…
Nonverbal I can do…
Charades, we can play…
Or even Pictionary…
You know I always have a way:)
Even that embrace…
Will get you words to say…
Sign language ….
I know a few…
Especially I love you!!!
Nonverbal I can do…
Charades, we can play…
Or even Pictionary…
You know I always have a way:)
Even that embrace…
Will get you words to say…
Sign language ….
I know a few…
Especially I love you!!!
Scared, your words may be…
Don’t worry words…
You just need a hug from me❤️❤️
Then you will be typing happily…
To the holder of these words…
You have heard what they need…
A replay, from you and me!!!
I love you!!!
Never doubt it !!!
Always I will love YOU!!!
Don’t worry words…
You just need a hug from me❤️❤️
Then you will be typing happily…
To the holder of these words…
You have heard what they need…
A replay, from you and me!!!
I love you!!!
Never doubt it !!!
Always I will love YOU!!!
by A wave I always do 4u❤️❤️❤️❤️ October 08, 2023