Self Surgery

When you have some sort of bodily affliction you can fix on your own and you utilize household tools. If you don't have to go to the ER and you can do it on your own.

Personal surgery.

Tools could include using things like butter knives, steak knives, tweezers, scissors, needles, razor blades, finger nails, etc...

I was on a <bender> and ended up with a burn on my leg from when I fell in the bonfire. I have performed self surgery and cut out the burn area with a butter knife; avoiding the perilous emergency room.

by prozic December 28, 2005

Sergey

Sergey is a sexual freak & occasional pervert with a massive sexual appetite only ONE special lady can truly satisfy. She knows who she is...

One Special Lady: My spidey senses are tingling... Sergey or one of his girthy-dicked affiliates must be around

by LowL33s@h December 31, 2016

plastic surgery

The merely aesthetically-corrective/improving alterations performed by sneaky, dishonestly-clever credit-repair specialists to seemingly/temporarily improve your credit score or financial history so that you can obtain better "plastic" ("What's in **your** wallet?!??") for the time being.

Just like wrinkle-removal or breast-augmentation, credit-based plastic surgery is only temporary, and will deteriorate over time --- yep, the chickens'll still come home to roost; you're only delaying the agony till later.

by QuacksO March 22, 2017

Rocket Surgery

A mixed metaphor describing a non-existent, yet implicitly high level of qualification. The greatness of this term is in its subtle ability to call someone stupid twice in one euphemism. The irony may go over someone's head and they would call out that this field of study doesn't exist.

A: Come on, it's not rocket surgery.
B: Are you fuckin retarded? There is no rocket surgery. Anyway, this is hard. I don't want to fuck up.
A: No dude, you're retarded. Just match the colors so I can jump start your car, dipshit.

by Johnny RS July 24, 2010

Neurointellectual Surgery

A nice try to add some brain to a poor skull vault. Nobody has succeeded in performing it to date. It has been an option for the future since decades.
It is what progress is all about.

Homer J. Simpson could do with some neurointellectual surgery.

by cinch January 4, 2012

Dental Surgery

Instant dental work to some mouthy fucker who has got (in a roundabout way) what he was asking for.

"And the Lord proclaimed all who believe in he shall be awarded entry to the kingdom of heaven and sit at his side....but if thy disbelieve in his almighty power the lord shall show his displeasure and wrath with the pox and scurvy and dental surgery"

by Burning blue soul January 16, 2017

Stretching Surgery

Stretching Surgery is a medical practice used to stretch out the males dick and balls out to extend them. It is usually done voluntarily and enjoyed by many people. ‘The Cock Stretcher’ is the main apparatus used in Stretching Surgery in order to stretch out the males dick and nuts to a suitable length (5 inches bigger). Stretching Surgery proved popular in the early 1930’s with over 430,000 cases of Stretching Surgery during the decade. 326,351 cases were handed out during WW1 to amputees for pleasure. Soon, Stretching Surgery was soon to die out until 2017 when doctors handed out free trials for Stretching Surgery to ‘struggling men’. Stretching Surgery is commonly mistaken for Mongolian Ball Torture, where the dick and nuts are cut off from the man and fed to the hounds. Whilst the remainders are cut off and sold on the Black Market.

Person 1: Hello, have you got your stretching surgery yet?
Person 2: Yeah it was pleasing and my dick and nuts seem extremely longer. You’ve gotta try it out at some point.

by Thicc Chungles August 31, 2019