Turnip Fucker

One who uses a turnip to derive sexual pleasure in one of three ways.
1. Cutting a sufficient hole into a turnip to allow simulation of a desired orafice permitting the insertion of the penis.
2. Inserting a turnip into one's anus, simulating anal sex.
3. Inserting a turnip into the vagina to simulate a desired organ, usually a penis.

Harold drunkenly explained his sordid life a social Turnip Fucker.

by Elfonzo January 15, 2003

turnip head

Someone of utter incompetence. Originally The nickname once given by the UK press to former England soccer manager Graham Taylor along with the famous image of the root vegetable superimposed on his head.
Headline: Swedes 1 Turnips o

He's another bloody turnip head!

by #Pezza# January 13, 2008

Stubble Turnip

the puss filled spots with new hair growth that can appear a few days after shaving

A few days after shaving her clunge she noticed she had a patch of stubble turnips just above her bacon rind.

by Scruffystuff September 20, 2011

Turnip Head

The awesome, lovable scarecrow in Howl's Moving Castle.
He is much better as a turnip than as a prince!

I was so annoyed when they turned Turnip Head into a prince at the end of the movie!

by CattheMagical January 19, 2014

Ass Turnip

A unit of excrement that forms a bulbous shape, which comes out large end first, causing pain in a short sharp burst.

'You Ok in there?'

'Shit no man, this Ass Turnip is ragging my asshole something rotten'

'What were doing last nite? You were pretty late man!'
'Got caught on the bog, was getting pretty reluctant to unleash this Ass Turnip'

by RobMan2008 May 26, 2009

turnip burner

A shitty old car which expels dark exhaust fumes while in operation. Can often be used to describe the driver of the vehicle.

Christ, that turnip burner is chucking out some really dodgy shit. It's getting all up in my grill.

by seeingitsimple October 24, 2013

turnip snouts

Dismay or shock learning of an event.
Similar to "wowsers" or "bollocks".
Can also be used positively.

"Did you hear? MARDEK IV is coming out!"
"Snazzy turnip snouts!"

by Raedellion September 18, 2023