Patch the one eyed snake

To wank, or masturbate.

Uncle Herbert told me to patch the one eyed snake, so I went out looking for a one with a box of band-aids. I eventually got tired as I couldn't find it, so I ran behind a bush and masturbated furiously.

by JayReynolds November 6, 2007

one-eyed-bed-snake

The blind organ of masculinity commonly found nestled between a gentlemans thighs that often wakes early in the morning independantly of its owner..

Gravitates towards madams dick-ditch if she should bed down with sir..

The one-eyed-bed-snake was on fine form this morning, but my wife was having none of it so I had to use my hand..

by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010

One-Eyed Bill

When a man is on top of a woman having sex and is so drunk that only one eye is open.

I was having sex with this dude last night and he was totally doing a one-eyed Bill

by Jem Bot August 19, 2009

One eyed jack

A person who shows the good side of themselves, while hiding the other side of themselves as being incredibly repulsive, insincere, malicious, and untrustworthy.

You are a one eyed jack around these parts, Dan. I have seen the other side of your face.

by Lexus Nexus July 3, 2014

One-Eyed Trouser Snake

A variation on the ever-popular "Trouser Snake", however the prefix added to insure that there is no doubt to what exactly the person is referring to which is coiled in his pants. That is to say, a penis, especially one of considerable length, doubly so if it's snake-like, and almost most certainly if the possesor of said wang must tuck it in his sock or coil it up. See also- Trouser Snake

"Xavier, a refined gigalo on the streets of Canterbury, could raise a generous tuppence with the help of his one-eyed trouser snake"

by Sekkai December 13, 2003

One Eyed Pecker Wrecker

A slang term for butthole. Usually used in the context of a girl who has a tight ass but can also be used as a greeting or an insult.

1. Did you see the one eyed pecker wrecker on that bitch that just walked by?

2. Whats going on you one eyed pecker wrecker you want to go grab a beer after work today?

3. Say another word you fucking one eyed pecker wrecker and i will knock your teeth out!

by Ryan Rietkerk April 16, 2007

One-eyed Date

Similar to a blind date. However, they know what you look like, its just blind for you because you were so blacked out drunk you can't remember what they look like.

Jeremy: I hear you're going out with that girl from Saturday night that drove you home?

Corey: Yeah, I'm a little worried though, its gonna be a one-eyed date since I was soooo drunk I don't even remember meeting her.

by twosticks March 25, 2010