Sand guardian

Guardian of the sand

Poseidon quivers before him

Fuck off!

And so I can upload it I have to say sand guardian

by ThatOneDictionary January 1, 2019

blind guardian

The best power metal band ever, they wipe their ass with nu metal, emo, "gangsta rap" and all other forms of music for pussies. Grow some testicles.

I went to the Blind Guardian concert, and kicked the whiny rich-bitch goth cunt in the face till she bled all over daddy's BMW.

by George Smith May 21, 2003

coast guard

The smallest of the five branches of the U.S. military. They are under-funded and under-appreciated, but they are vital to national security. They conduct search & rescue, counterterrorism, customs & immigration enforcement, and environmental law compliance tasks.

The U.S. Coast Guard doesn't get the publicity or credit they deserve.

by J-rad March 15, 2007

rape guard

When you achieve a level of obesity such that your belly completely eclipses your genitalia. In other words when you stand in front of a mirror naked and your penis or vagina is completely hidden from view by your gut. Also known as advanced Dunlap syndrome(your belly dun lapped way over your belt).

Joe: Beware a wild snorlax appears...
John: Oh noes! and she has a level three rape guard!
Joe: Just the logistics of reaching her gens are mind boggling.

by turdnificent December 27, 2012

Dole Guardian

A DWP employee who is under a sworn oath from the government to prevent anyone and everyone from claiming benefits.

Russian Brute: Where's my money? I have one slice of bread left for dinner.
Dole Guardian: Your claim has been closed.
Russian Brute: I'm half blind, half deaf, have one arm, a sore back and metal kneecaps.
Dole Guardian: You are eligible for work. Here is a leaflet.
Russian Brute: What am I supposed to do eat that? *goes into Audi and plays rave music loudly*

by binmunbruce August 30, 2019

guarding the bee

The act of performing an utterly meaningless task given to you solely to keep you out of the way. The name comes from an episode of The Simpsons in which Homer, and two others, are tasked with guarding a bee in a jar in the plant's basement while the Nuclear Regulatory Inspector is visiting.

Bernie: Duh, why are we down here?
Homer: Aw, geez. I told you Bernie, guarding the bee!
Bernie: But WHY?!
Homer: Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head bee-guy.

by Astrolounge April 7, 2009

strum guard

a strip of towel wrapped around the wrist of one's "strum"-minging hand, secured by gaffer tape, and is used to "guard" against abrasions when playing guitar. invented by joe strummer (born: john graham mellor) due to his furious playing style.

joe strummer never plays his telecaster without his strum guard.

by normers January 12, 2006