tool

Someone who thinks theyre all that but theyre really not.Someone who everyone hates.Someone who talks smack about themselves to prove to other people that theyre life is interesting.

a tool: oh yeah i smoke weed and get drunk every night.
his "so called friend": umm he really doesnt, he's a pussy.
a jock: yeah he's a tool

EJ AGUADO.

by hlahsldjahg April 11, 2006

Tool Army

A fan club for the band "Tool". The Tool Army is a hilarious money making scheme, which the "Tools" don't understand. These individuals walk around in shirts that say "Tool" in large letters, failing to understand Maynard's love/hate affair with consumer culture.

The Tool Army costs 30$ or more and the buyer gets "keychains and certificates" and still gets mad when they take a long time to come in the mail.

Tool is an amazing band. It has retarded fans.

"hey man, I joined the tool army!" - Idiot 1

"Haha, you Tool. You probably actually like Puscifer too, don't you?" - Me, Smart guy.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, even Maynard says it is shit and for people who don't think. Enjoy."

by BenZe November 12, 2012

omWacking Off In My Tool Shed

Originated from Beavis and Butthead when Beavis whacks off in a neighbor's(Anderson's) toolshed.

verb.Masterbating in one's toolshed

"Have you been whackin off in meh toolshed?"

by Kat Johnson June 10, 2006

Mexican Toolbox

Act of masturbating by slamming a toilet lid onto your erect penis.

Dude! I just walked in on Kyle doing the Mexican Toolbox in the bathroom!! It was awesome!

by Cinco de mayo toilet party October 25, 2011

tool kit

A super-idiot. Whereas a normal idiot is a tool, a complete idiot is the entire tool kit.

Remember that geek from university? He was a complete tool kit.

by Ian Chode August 12, 2004

Fucking tool

1.) Adj. + Noun A person who makes a definition on Urban Dictionary emphasizing how awesome: they, their friends, or the area they live in are/is.

Also pertains to the people who vote those definitions up.

2.) Frat guys in polo shirts and khaki shorts.

1.) Man the guy who wrote the definition for $@ctown is a fucking tool.

2.) Look, all those guys are wearing the same shirt, with the same haircut, the same shorts, and the same flipflops... Fucking tools.

by IFuckingHateTools July 5, 2009

Tool Time

When one has an urge to pleasure oneself through the means of manual stimulation i.e. wanking.

"Aw yas, the burd's oot the hoose and ma internet's working again...it's tool time!" "Here, a cannay wait till that film wae the Olsen twins are on tonight - tool time!"

by Chisel June 14, 2008