Greased Jesus

Something (or someone) either super awesome, super sexy, or super ... greasy

"He was so greasy that he slid right off the cross and into our hearts"

"Greased Jesus is on my side tonight"

"That hat is ugly, and she paid 40 dollars for it. It's ridiculous. Greased Jesus would not approve."

"He sneaks around your room at night...except he just sort of slides around on the floor...unfortunately, he's too greasy to do much.

by marmar216 May 19, 2009

jesus martinez

Jesus martinez is a person who is a Savage, dont trust no one, and/or a person who is smart and cute.

Everyone is in love with that new boy name jesus martinez he is a real cholo.

by fat triel October 08, 2015

Slim Jesus

Funniest looking fucker in the rap game, claims to be hood as fuck in his music videos (bragging about his "gang" and guns), yet in an interview shortly after Drill time he said he's legit as fuck and doesn't do anything illegal, but talks about his friend nearly going to prison, which doesn't count for fuck all

"Fam, look at this kid called Slim Jesus"

"Oh my days fam, he looks like he's called Skittles"

by BrickBreakerKdon October 04, 2015

fart of jesus

Thought to have been named after the actual farts that the Lord Jesus Christ was reported to have made on many occasions. A fart having a fragrant aroma not disimilar to that of summer berries with a hint of coriander and wood smoke.

Mmmm, smells like the fart of jesus.

by Shawn Hampton September 08, 2008

jesus horses

According to Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update team (Jimmy Fallon and Tiny Fay), "jesus horses" are defined in the following excerpt: "A Supreme Court in Geaorgia ruled that high school biology teachers were permitted to continue using the term 'evolution' when teaching their classes. However as a compromise, they must now refer to dinosaurs as 'jesus horses'."

My son Timmy loves to learn about jesus horses. His favorite jesus horse is the T-Rex.

by duckhunter24 August 16, 2004

Wet Jesus

When a woman drags her hand across her wet vagina, and smacks you in the face with it.

Damn dude, I tried putting it in her ass. that bitch turned around and gave me a Wet Jesus.

by June 02, 2007

Jesus Beaver

Obnoxiously innocent, highly religious and curious girls who flirt incessantly, but don't ever, ever put out.

Ever.

Joe: "Hey John did you see Courtney over there kissing Kelly?"
John: "Yea man, they're horny as shit, and thats why I'm here!"

Joe: "Good luck man, thats some Jesus Beaver right there. You don't have a chance."

by Beaverfucker!!!! February 02, 2009