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Tool Squad

Singular: tool squadee

a group of douchebags, swagfags, or other forms of assholes. Most commonly appearing in high schools and middle schools. Members can be distinguished by usually wearing polo shirts, chubbies, athletic shorts, long socks, and expensive sneakers. Often treat other people like crap, listen to hip hop music in an attempt to appear cooler, and are far-right Republican. Many tool squadees are spoiled and used to getting whatever they want from their rich parents, and are almost always white.

The only things that they talk about are athletics (specifically lacrosse), pointless social matters, and how "hard" their life is.
Bob: So then I said-

John: Look out, Tool Squad up ahead.

(Both swerve to avoid the mass of concentrated douchebaggery.)

Bob: *whew* That was close.

Tool Squad Member #1: My parents won't get me the new iPhone, my life is so hard.

Tool Squad Member #2: Are you coming to lacrosse practice tonight?
by ainm-cleite October 28, 2014
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tool apron

Worse than the traditional "tool", this waste of oxygen actually holds the tool in it's safe place, making it easily and readily accessible for use as a meaningless piece of shit.

A faker, impostor, or other wise ingenue person whom shits fallacies in attempts to score pussy.
Look at that fucking guy , acting like he has the biggest dick in the room to impress the ladies. What a tool apron.
by Carter Lanecrest January 5, 2018
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Related Words

tool mark

Tool mark: the offspring of a complete douche bag, otherwise known as a tool. The tool mark is the "mark" the "tool" has left on the world.
He's wearing white sunglasses...and she's pregnant. She is going to pop out a tool mark.
by Sugar-coated sarcasm February 5, 2018
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Tool beef

A beefy tool. He will have a greasy beard and moustache that curls around his lips. He will choose Pilsner over water anyday.
Man, that guy is a serious Tool Beef.
by BritEvans April 20, 2019
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Tool me

A whole live pecker inside of you!
I really do wish Andrew would just tool me every which a way!!!
by GAY GOKU March 25, 2023
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Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR")

Also known as the Aargh Quotient, the Tool-Problem Ratio (“TPR”) is a DIY term expressing the relationship between a physical problem to be fixed and the tool available for the task. A 1:1 ratio reflects that the tool is perfect for the job -- e.g., when a nail clipper is available to trim a toenail, the TPR is 1:1. Ratios of greater than 1:1 indicate that the tool available is excessive relative to the job: a chainsaw generates a ratio of, say, 200:1 for toenail trimming. Ratios of less than 1:1 indicate that the tool at hand is inadequate for the task: a toenail clipper produces a ratio of, say, 1:1000 for cutting down a Christmas tree. Depending on the TPR, responsive behaviors may range from mild (swearing, sighing disgustedly), to driving to the hardware store, to breaking the workpiece or the tool violently.
Faced with a Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR") of about 1:10 when his flat-blade screwdriver was too big to loosen the Phillips-head screw on his range vent, Bob intoned “Jesus H. Christ” under his breath and motored off to Home Depot.
by FitofPeak2 September 4, 2023
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Tool Bag

Someone who is a Tool and a Douche Bag.
Girl 1: My boyfriend is such an asshole.
Girl 2: Girl, don't worry about it, he's just a Tool Bag.
by Ashhhhhhhhhhhhhy August 28, 2010
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