Jared

Is and always will be loved by Elise❤ has a best friend with a very ✨unique✨ name (Braughn). Has a really pretty cousin named sarah and he is jealous of a ghost in his girlfriend's house

I love Jared -Elise
I miss Jared - also Elise
Nvm I don't miss him anymore because I saw him pass by earlier- Elise once again

by ur._.mom.com March 8, 2023

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Jared

A fat Costa Rican bastard who got a shitty ass haircut and hates a lovely boy named Bryan. Nigga Jared thinks he’s rich ($14 an hour makes fat niggas go crazy) he lies about everything except that he has so many hoes. Nigga thinks he’s a thug cause he live in a shitty ass apartment. The biggest city boy s(as in fat asf but he still a city boy) got pepperoni nipples, SpongeBob acne and is a big fan of chaka culture and claims the chaka set. And he is thankful for god given opportunity’s Jared is a good homie and faithful vato and

Margret: Jared is fine ask
Hannah: I’d let him nut inside of me
Margret:…
The hoes: I’d like Jared to fill my holes

by Chester2fine March 10, 2023

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I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024

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Jared's Ears

Jared's Ears Is a genetical condition in which somebodies ears are literally ginormous. Some mistake a person with Jared's ears to be a bird or other flying specimen. Jared's ears is normally identified at birth because the ginormous ears are incredibly big at birth, and therefore make labor incredibly hard. Jared's ears only has one cure which is to cut the ears off, or trim them with a rotary sander.

Is that a bird dog, nah its a plane.

Shit. Nevermind, it's just a guy with Jared's ears

by Christophlak June 18, 2024

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