Redneck Wet Wipe

When you're on the toilet taking a mean shit and you realize you have to blow your nose, so you grab some toilet paper to do so, then wipe your asshole with the now-wet and snotty toilet paper, thereby cleaning your asshole more effectively than just regular shit tickets. The best part is, unlike regular wet wipes, you can flush it without fucking up your septic tank or local sewage system.

Wife: "Honey, do we have any wet wipes? I've got the never-ending wipe happening here."
Husband: "Just blow you nose into some toilet paper!"
W: "Huh?"
H: "You know, like a Redneck Wet Wipe!"
W: "Gross, babe."
H: "Is it really any more gross than what just came out of your asshole?"
W: "Fair point." *honk*

by Crap-tain April 20, 2025

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Wipe lie

When after the first wipe, the toilet paper is clean but you wipe for a second time and realise it was just an illusion. It then takes half the roll to get clean.

I had a very satisfied smile after a clean first wipe but the next revealed I had been fooled, a wipe lie!

by HizerKite November 22, 2023

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Wipes

To single-handedly beat out the competition, usually in a definitive fashion. Somewhat interchangeable with "clears" and "solos."

The Dark Knight absolutely wipes The Batman.

by guesswho¿? September 26, 2022

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Mr Wipes

Mr wipes is the guy that goes around the elderly home and well wipes the elderly. It may not be a very classy job but Mr Wipes finds this very satisfying.

Here comes Mr Wipes to the elderly home to do his job.

by Krazez June 6, 2018

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