When Jesus Wakes up

When something is bound not to happen, or will not begin for a long time.

I'm finna do my home work...... ha, when jesus wakes up.

by DanArc December 25, 2007

East Jesus Nowhere

An amazing Green Day song off their 2009 album 21st Century Breakdown. This song is about fundamentalist religion. Lead vocalist for Green Day, Billie Joe Armstrong, wrote this song after attending a baptism for a friend's baby. Green Day performed this song on the season 34 finale of Saturday Night Live. Will Ferrell, who hosted, accompanied them on cow bell. This did not air, but can be found on Youtube.

A fire burns today
Of blasphemy and Genocide
The sirens of decay
Will infiltrate the faith fanatics

Some of the lyrics to East Jesus Nowhere

by Ninja-Unicorn June 30, 2011

You Need Jesus

When someone in your squad is cutting the fool, or says something perverted as fuck that makes you laugh.

"Lord, that punannie was so tight, I thought she was underage!"

"You know you need Jesus, right?"

by theradicalthinker August 26, 2016

went heels to Jesus

to wallpaper the closet, to put Percy in the play pan, to lay some pipe, to swing the axe

- The last time I laid some pipe?
- You know, wallpapered the closet, went heels to Jesus?
- You mean make love?
- Nah, just sex!

by Zombieland2009 February 3, 2010

Jesus h christ (on a popsicle stick)

Exclamation of extreme aggravation.

Jesus h christ on a popsicle stick--why won't this damn engine turn over!!!

by JohnK May 22, 2005

slim jesus

A white Boy Who Thinks He's Black He Made The Song,"Drill Time" He's from Ohio

"I fuck with savages,you a fuckboy you can't hang." - Slim Jesus,Drill Time

by Dr Gang In This Bitch December 30, 2015

jesus saves!

what you yell out loud when Jesus the goalie blocks a puck from entering the net.

he's going for the shot...but the goalie blocks it! Jesus saves! What a save by Jesus!

by hockey rules June 10, 2005